#I wrote this yesterday instead of just trying to ignore how I felt

[lemonade4wanda]

Caring

Wanda Maximoff x reader

Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆

Summary - when your not feeling your best and Wanda needs someone to care for.

Words - 1.3k

Warnings - NOT PROOFREAD, illness, fever, medication?

A/n - can you tell I'm ill rn?? Srry for disappearing for such a long time again life is a bitch to me rn. I wrote this in two sittings and did not proof read or draft this at all srry lol <3

A/n 2: this is my 3rd time trying to upload this properly I might die if it doesn't do it right this time

Last night, you'd felt the beginnings of some type of cold. A scratchy throat and ever blocked nose beginning to be the only things you could feel. Alas, you ignored the gut feeling that told you to skip training and instead continued on with an extensive two hour workout led by the one and only Steve Rogers. Once done with the workout and shower, you felt better, feeling like you'd kicked that illness and shown it who was boss.. This morning, however, was another story.

Your once vaguely sore throat was now on fire with pain. So dry, it felt like the Sahara. Your nose was nothing more than an accessory at this point, for no matter how much you blew it, stubbornly, it remained blocked. Your arms were in agony aching from the heavy workout yesterday, and you were so worn out that all you could do was lie in bed feeling sorry for yourself.

A few hours went by of you being propped up in bed sickly and barely awake. The sunlight peaked through the closed blinds, creating a small sunbeam onto the bed. If it weren't for the sunbeam, you'd have been still in complete darkness.

About lunchtime, there's a knock on the door, and the voice of the newest avenger sounds from behind it.

"Hey,.. I didn't see you at breakfast or at all for that matter. Are you okay?" Wanda. She'd barely been in the group a couple of months, and she was often quite reclusive despite your attempts to try and include her. However, it did make your heart warm that she was coming to check on you. The only one on the team to have noticed your absence and questioned it.

"I'm just feeling a bit under the weather today." You cough out a nasaly response to her question, a little unsure if she'll be able to hear your raspy voice through the door.

It's quiet for a few moments, and you assume she's left and begin to close your eyes, ready to doze again before your door opens and Wanda's head peers round, looking out curiously. "Your room is nice." She remarks quietly in her Sokovian accent as she looks about, this resulting in a small tired smile from you with all the energy you could muster.

"I was just wondering if you need anything? Have you had any medication or food?" She questions almost immediately, taking your lack of response as an indicator she could come closer.

By the time her words register in your sleepy fever ridden brain, she's already stood above your bed about to put a cold palm adorned with shiny silver rings on your sweaty head. You have to resist the urge to squirm away when she does put her hand down as the cool temperature is such a shock to your body, the way the rings feel against your head is almost jarring and unatural. Not wanting the younger avenger to think you're weak for taking such a hit from the cold. A small smirk on her face as she notices you tense up from the cold feeling.

"You're burning up." She speaks as if this wasn't obvious information. "Pietro used to get like this as a child. I'll look after you." You look up raising a brow at the witch who was now smiling eagerly at you. She wasn't used to being alone, and taking care of you was a way to combat that, and you could really do with the help. Let's be real. Eventually, you manage a weak nod in response while she fluffs up the many pillows on your double bed.

"Friday, can you read y/n's temperature for me? Please." The please is quickly added on at the end as if worried the ai would be upset if she was anything but polite.

"Miss y/n's temperature is 39°c (102 Fahrenheit) in the range of a moderate fever. Drinking lots of water, applying cold compress or showering as well as rest and painkillers could be used to lower this."

A small groan sounds from you at the idea of doing any of these things, which all involve some amount of effort on your part. Wanda, however, seems almost ecstatic at the idea of treating you. Her usual withdrawn personality is gone as she fills up a large glass of water for you.

"I will get you some paracetamol and a cold towel for your head. And then a lemon drink my mother used to make when I was young." The witch lists out her plan step by step as if you were really taking any of it in.

"Sure thing, doctor." You splutter out as your head lolls against the headboard. Maybe it was the fever, but seeing Wanda like this, concerned and caring, was possibly making you burn up more. She giggles softly at the comment and leaves the room to let you sip your water while she's gone. The water is heavenly, and it makes you wonder why you didn't think to get any yourself as you were now feeling like you hadn't drunk in days.

Wanda's return is much appreciated by you and shown with a dopey grin on your face. She smiles back as she places two chalky tablets down on the table alongside a homemade drink made of squeezed lemon juice, syrup, and ginger tea. Next, she places the cool compress onto your forhead, hence with you let out a loud sigh of relief, earning a toothy grin from the Sokovian woman.

"Now take the tablets and have your drink." She practically orders you like a mother.

"You're very bossy for someone so quiet." You mumble back but do exactly as she says, taking the tablets with your water, trying not to make a face at the taste of the tablets and drinking the homemade remedy she'd made for you.

"If I wasn't bossing you around, you'd still be lay on your bed, not taking that fever down."

"Touché." You roll over having given up on the argument you'd clearly not win in this state, something to be saved for when you were feeling better.

"That's it, huh? You gonna turn away because you don't enjoy me being right." She jokes. Despite how ill you felt, it was nice to see another side to Wanda. A warmer more inviting side to her.

"No.. I want you to sit with me." You say without thinking. And for a moment, Wanda was glad you'd turned away so you couldn't see her blushed cheeks. You'd invited her into your bed. To be close to her. It's what you wanted. Now was definitely not the time to say she'd dreamed about a time like this, not with you in your state.

"Sure, I'll sit with you, sweetheart." The nickname makes your sick heart flutter even though she probably meant it fully platonically. Well, at least that's what you thought.

The bed dips, and Wanda is sat next to you, her head resting in the headboard as she gazes down at you. You in your half asleep fever state, rest your head on her lap and your arms around her legs. Wanda is for a moment startled by the movements and a little flustered but quickly recovers into trying to soothe your sick self to sleep. Her fingers made their way into your hair, gently massaging small patterns and brushing through it with her painted fingernails. All the while, she hums old lullabies, which all help lull you into a deep still sleep.

"Sleep well, milaya devochka."

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Rejection?

Aone x reader

@gosen-v

Aone hadn’t noticed the letter yesterday, and he felt bad that you’d had to wait to know you made a mistake. If he knew which of the lockers near him had been your target, he would’ve dropped it in for you himself, but he didn’t want to risk another mistake. So instead he found you on your way to first period.

“Hey, Aone!” You grinned, and he wondered if you were still cold from being outside, the red still visible in your cheeks as you looked at him. Your eyes alighted on the envelope in his hands, opened, and you opened your mouth to say something when he shoved it into your hand. He didn’t want you to be upset with him for reading it- but it hadn’t been addressed! He hadn’t realized what it was, at first, and then he finished it just to know what he lacked that you liked someone that wasn’t him. But your fingers slowly clasped around it, “Oh… okay, thanks, Aone. I’ll see you at practice, I guess.” You walked away, but Aone wasn’t sure why you looked so upset. Shouldn’t you be glad that you’d be able to give it to the right person now? He wished he could make you smile. You were usually always smiling when you left his company. Were you that embarrassed that he read it?

You weren’t sure why you thought the letter was a good idea. He had always been nice to you, but he was nice to everyone even when they were afraid of him. You supposed now that you just read too much into it. Aone didn’t owe you his affection, he probably had a lot of confessions yesterday and didn’t want to make you think he was open to your affection. Maybe he accepted another’s first. He was late with the rejection- but you hadn’t managed to get the letter into his locker until he was practice. You had to claim a teacher held you up when the coach wondered why you were late. Sighing, you sat down in class next to Futakuchi, who immediately was raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, what is this? Where’s the excitement I’m always complaining about?”

“What’s there to be excited about?” You answered stubbornly, glaring at the letter before stuffing it into your pocket, only to pull it back out and try to rip it- but he snatched it out of your hand.

“Nu- uh. No. You are not chickening out of this. You talked my ear off for hours about writing this stupid thing.”

“Can’t chicken out when you’ve already been rejected.” You shot back, moving to take it back, but he held it further away.

“What the hell do you mean?” He glared at the letter, knowing how you felt- but also knowing how Aone felt. “Did you write something stupid in here?”

“What? No! I wrote it exactly like we talked about! And even if I didn’t, does it matter? He still rejected it!” You paused, slumping into your seat, “He rejected me.”

Futakuchi spent all day trying to figure out how it happened. Why would Aone reject you? The boy was half in love with you before you became their manager, and Futakuchi felt like everyone could see the heart eyes perpetually stuck to his stone face when he looked at you. So he asked Obara. “Any idea why? Like Y/N wrote this letter- I didn’t expect a rejection!”

“You got rejected because of a letter Y/N wrote?” The two of them turned to see Koganegawa standing, clueless expression on his face.

“No, idiot, Y/N wrote the letter and-“

“So Y/N got rejected??? Who would reject Y/N??” The first year setter’s voice echoed around the club room, stunning the rest of the team into silence.

Aone turned to stare at them, before he actually spoke, “I hope it is not because I read it.”

Futakuchi’s eyebrows shot up, “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t you have read it?”

“I believe Y/N made a mistake in locker numbers. I gave it back.”

“Oh, Aone, you absolutely stupid tower of a guy.”

When Koganegawa burst into the gym, it was nothing out of the ordinary to you.

At least until he opened his mouth.

“Y/N! Captain says someone rejected you! That’s not possible, right!?”

Oh, you were going to murder Kenji slowly.

Ignoring Koganegawa, you continued getting the gym ready, moving through the list of things you needed to do, but as you finished you realized the rest of the team still wasn’t present. “Kanji, go get the others. Practice was supposed to start almost ten minutes ago.”

“Aye, aye!” Finally pausing in theories of how it happened, the tall boy ran to the club room, only for you to hear Futakuchi yelling at him to shut the door.

Stomping over, you threw it open, “Kenji, you can’t still be changing! Practice is-“ You paused, sure enough they were not still changing. Instead, they were all crowded around Aone as he sat on the bench in front of a pen and paper, “Are you guys having a study session or something?”

Everyone was frozen as they stared back at you, before Aone stood, holding the paper out to you as he bowed. The first thing you caught at the top was an apology.

“Aone, really, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have gotten so sensitive. You don’t need to apologize for rejecting my confession.”

He just thrusted the paper in your direction again, so you took it with a sigh.

Reading it made you realize that he hadn’t known the confession was for him- and you realized you had never actually written his name on it. You slapped a hand to your face, “I’m an idiot.”

“No.” His deep voice spoke quietly before a soft smile graced his features, “You are very nice.”

Futakuchi walked up, slapping the original letter into Aone’s chest, “Here you go, big guy. Now let’s get to practice.”

“Yeah, about that,” You turned to your best friend with a sharp glare, “You mind telling me how Koganegawa knew about my supposed rejection?”

The captain ran, and as you moved to chase him, Aone caught the back of your jacket and held you in place. He spoke quietly when you glanced back at him, “Maybe let him go this once. He helped in the end.”

You conceded with a nod as you smiled at him, “Fair point, big man. How about we take a trip to that book store I was telling you about after practice? I’m pretty sure they have that series you were reading.” He nodded, giving you a brief but crushing hug before he followed the team to the gym.

Masterlist

[yuri-is-online]

Hello author!! I was the one who requested prompt 12 with riddle, jade, and jamil, and let me just say I absolutely loved it!! You wrote all of them so well, riddle and jamil's especially genuinely gave me butterflies in my stomach 😍😍. You said "feel free to message me with a separate request" since you already did riddle before my request, if I may request the same prompt with Ruggie instead? If not, feel free to ignore this!! No pressure!! Thank you so much for doing my request!! 💙💙

12. You had a wonderful time dancing and flirting with someone at the ball, only to find out from your friends the next day that was your crush. And you have no idea if they knew it was you they were dancing with.

Hi reader!! And I very much did mean you could ask for a second request, sorry this took so long to get out I had a minor brain break. I was worried I was running out of ideas for the Masquerade prompts but RUGGIE- I wanted to write for him so bad after I got his card from GloMas. I didn't expect him to get so excited for such a posh event it was so cute. He works for this prompt so so well.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, Ruggie is a little shit but he really does care about Yuu, did you know sleep deprivation makes you act drunk? Because Yuu are about to find that out. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist here.

The fabric of his costume had felt weird at first, Ruggie has no idea why rich people insist on making their costumes feel so uncomfortable, but something about the mask brings back some of his confidence. Enhances it even, maybe that should have been his first sign something was going to go wrong.

You have complicated feelings about being stuck in Twisted Wonderland. On the one hand you have made friends you genuinely feel lucky to have met, on the other you know if you make it home no one will ever believe you. No matter where you go, you will forever be stuck with a painful longing for a group of people that you will never be able to see again.

Something about the masks everyone was wearing last night and how exhausted you had been after setting up had brought those thoughts up into the forefront of your mind, brewing a strange set of emotions in your chest. You wanted to cry, you could swear that's what you were doing but when you had removed your mask to check, your cheeks were suspiciously dry.

"Ain't it against the rules to be removing that so early?"

Ruggie doesn't give things out for free, that's why you're looking for him. That's what you tell yourself as you try to run through the locations he could be in your mind, straining your eyes to look through the crowd for a glimpse of gold, it's strange really how foolish this makes you feel. Yesterday you would have had no trouble finding him, yesterday you would have rolled your eyes and said something about how you always find him when you don't need him. But now...

"Here." The stranger's voice is hoarse, rough with emotion much like the handkerchief he wipes your cheek with even though its absent of any sorrow. "You really aren't good at this whole stay'n up late thing are you, prefect?" You think you laugh.

"The headmage had me set up the tables." It's a task you swear should have been done with magic, but your manual labor was clearly more convenient. "Honestly I sort of just want to go to sleep, but that would be a waste of the party."

"Yeah! You'd miss out on all the free food!" You swear, if you had just been more awake, you would have realized why his voice made you relax. If you had been more awake you wouldn't have let him lead you out of your corner and rest your head on his shoulder. If you had been more awake-

"Ha you sound like Grim." He takes both your hands in his and pulls you up to your feet with a truly wicked smile peeking out from his mask.

"Well now that's just rude!" His fingers intertwine with yours and you swear if he would just take off his mask you would see the whole world reflected in his eyes. "I promise I'm a much more fun time than your stupid cat, c'mon let me show you."

"But my mask!" You aren't really protesting, you want to go with him you swear you just want someplace to hide your embarrassment.

"Don't need it~" And he clearly knows that as he makes sure kiss your knuckles while clearly staring from behind his the whole time. "Let everybody see just who you're dancing with, yeah?" ~~~~ "Coast is clear." Jack mumbles, clearly conflicted as Ruggie stumbles out from the supply closet, but he doesn't say anything just yet. But it isn't a thought he is going to keep to himself forever.

"Thanks Jack! You're real reliable y'know?" The freshman's tail twitches, but Ruggie's praise doesn't have its intended affect.""Thanks Jack! You're real reliable y'know?" The freshman's tail twitches, but Ruggie's praise doesn't have its intended affect.

"This sucks to watch you know." He sounds almost as disappointed in him as Ruggie is himself, there is a petty part of him that wishes Jack was judging Yuu too put he knows they're not really in the wrong here. "Don't you at least want your hankie back?"

"What makes you think that's what I'm concerned with?" It's not what Ruggie intended to say, and clearly not what Jack thought he would hear. For some annoying reason it makes him smug, but Ruggie can't even bring himself to stumble towards denial. "I'm not usually that confident y'know? And besides..." He doesn't think Jack will understand his worries. Maybe Jamil would, they aren't exactly friends but he has talked about dating with him before. Yuu isn't from Twisted Wonderland, he's poor as shit, sure you could argue that dating is supposed to be fun and not something you worried about but when you have a lifetime's worth of hard work in your future...

Ruggie isn't big on saying people deserve things, but he is big on Yuu. Sure Leona is a grouchy bastard, Jack has that weird soul mate expectation, the Heartslabyul gang come from weirdly posh countries, and Azul and the twins are sketchy bastards but they all could give Yuu a place worth belonging to. He can't do that, not yet. And no matter how hard he intends to work for one there is always a chance he'll fail. Dreams don't pay your bills after all.

"I don't think they mind." Jack is always too serious when he says things, but there is an odd gentleness to the way he says this that Ruggie hasn't heard from anyone whose told him that before. "Yuu respects and likes you just the way you are, didn't even need me to tell them who they danced with last night they already knew it was you. Subconsciously anyway." That makes his heart do some painful flips, as Jack turns to go. "You aren't a bad guy Ruggie. Not in their eyes anyway."

But he should be. That's the problem. He should be someone you dislike for all the times he stepped on your feet and tricked you into staying with him instead of looking for your real friends. For how he is showing up at your door intending to trick you into feeding him for how much he "helped" you last night only to find you on you way out to find him, food already in hand.

"Oh I'm glad you came." There is relief in your sigh he didn't think he would ever hear from a classmate at this school. "I was worried by the time I found you it would go cold."

"Ha thought y'knew me better than that prefect!" He tries to laugh, but he knows his face is burning red and he is so overwhelmed he can't look at you at all. "I'd never let food go to waste. 'Specially not yours."

He can work the details out later, Ruggie hates doing that. He likes specific plans, but this is nice. If he closes his eyes as he sits at your table he can pretend its his, that you are his. And when he opens them, when he decides to be honest with himself, one of those things will be true.

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 89- Blood, Sweat & Tears

Chapter Summary: Jennie and Jimin fight over his extreme diet. BTS film BST with Jennie and Taehyung filming a sexy scene together. Jennie spends time with GOT7.

Words: 7,000+

Author's Note: A reader had messaged me years ago and sent me fanart of Jennie for Blood, Sweat & Tears back in 2018! This is by mimikoe_ on Instagram! If you see this, thank you again for your art! I appreciate you! This was so sweet of you. I hope they keep drawing! They are so talented!

This chapter gave me a bit of anxiety. I'm so sorry for the angst. At the time of editing this, I felt like I should have just deleted this argument between Jimin and Jennie but I decided to keep it and have my character mess up. Show more character development of her learning from her mistakes. Angst for this but it will end fluffy. This topic is such a serious matter so I felt a bit wary now that I'm older and looking back at what I wrote years ago. Again, I'm sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable with this. :( This one for the angst is regarding Jimin's diet for the BST era. After that, I did not write any more about the diet. This will be it.

------

The following day, at Big Hit’s building, the members got ready for their dance practice in the studio. Jennie went to the bathroom and once she was done she found Jimin finishing up getting a drink from the water fountain. 

Once he turned around, he grinned. “Ready to go back?”

“Uh huh!” she smiled back.

She stared at his face longer than usual and couldn’t help but feel something off about him. His face looked even smaller which began to worry her.

“Yo, your face,” she placed a palm against his cheek to examine how small it had gotten.

His cheeks were gone and his jawline had gotten sharper. Something was not right.

“Did you eat at all today?” she exclaimed with concern. “Or even yesterday?”

Jimin’s stomach dropped at her questioning. He then pulled away from her and started to walk away. He could not face her. He could not bring himself to look at the hurt in her eyes. The concern in her eyes. He wished she would stop chasing after him like this to get a solid answer. All he wanted to do was be left alone to diet in peace. Jin already gave him an earful, asking him why is he going to this extent to lose weight but Jimin felt like this was the best thing to do. To look perfect for their next comeback.

“Jimin, you’re stressing me out!” her words took him away from his thoughts as she walked after him around Big Hit’s building. “What is the issue?”

“Can you please stop talking about this? I said I’m all right,” he snapped.

She chose to ignore the irritation in his voice and persisted in questioning him. Grabbing his hand to stop him, he turned around, displeased.

“Your face is so much smaller than usual! Are you not eating?!” she exclaimed.

Pulling her to him as she bumped into his chest, Jimin looked down at her. He was bothered by her interrogation.

“Can you stop being so loud?” he hissed in a hushed voice, glaring at her.

“Stop being so loud? This is the perfect volume to get what I’m saying through your head! Let’s be late to practice and go out to eat real quick. Okay? I’ll take the blame. I don’t mind being lectured for being late for both of us. It’s okay. Just come with me to eat, please! Noodles. Let’s get noodles! And pork, too! Lots of it! Or even chicken! My treat! I’ll pay!” she insisted, despairingly trying to get him to eat with her.

Jimin was conflicted. She was willing to get in trouble just so he could eat instead of dancing with an empty stomach. She did not mind going to practice late as long as he would get a meal in him. 

He wanted to. He wanted to say yes. But he couldn’t. He felt like he needed to diet.

“I’m not hungry,” he responded with a frown and released her.

“Yes, you are! I’ve seen the way you’d clutch your stomach and heard your stomach growl a lot this morning! What you’re doing is making yourself sick! You cannot do this to your body! Your body is going to break down! You gotta listen to it! You gotta feed it! Not let it go so long without food! We’re performers. We need all the energy we can get. And then our comeback is so soon, come on, Jimin!”

Running his hands through his silver hair, he shouted sternly with a growl, “Enough, Jennie! Enough! Just shut up already! Stop bothering me about it and leave me the hell alone!”

The harsh sound of his voice made her flinch as her stomach dropped from his anger. It began to scare her. He never yelled at her like this. He never actually yelled at her at all. And soon she felt tears of frustration and anger beginning to form in her eyes. The 95 Liner clenched his jaw as his anger amplified. He felt angrier at himself for shouting as it started to get the attention of staff members. And soon after Namjoon was walking over to them, worried after hearing them from the practice room.

‘Ennie...I’m so sorry...’ he thought sadly.

Jimin didn’t mean to shout. He didn’t mean to get this riled up, especially towards his precious Ennie of all people. But he wanted her to back off and let him be. Why couldn’t she just let him do this in peace?

As his words registered in her brain, she started to feel vexation overcome her, “Don’t you ever tell me to shut up! I’m trying to help you!”

“Hey!” Namjoon butted in, getting in between them.

“I didn’t ask for it! Learn to stay out of everyone’s business!” Jimin shouted.

“What you’re doing is not necessary and it’s absurd!” she shouted back.

“You wouldn’t understand-“

“Understand what!?” her voice went higher. “Why are you doing this? Huh!? Is it because of what others think?! You don’t need to lose any weight whatsoever, so end this crap, right now!”

Jimin felt his body shake as he listened to her voice her opinion on the matter. 

Grabbing him by his shoulders, she shouted as tears began to slowly go down her cheeks, “You are more than just abs! You are fine just the way you are, why can’t you see that!? People aren’t your real fans if they only see you for your body, Chim Chim! Please don’t do this to yourself, I don’t want to see you like this. It’s breaking my heart, Jimin, just stop it!”

Shrugging her off of him, Jimin found himself walking away before he ended up yelling more harshly. It was like talking to a wall. She just would not stop talking about it.

“Sometimes I wish you would just shut up and stop getting involved! Just let things happen, no one needs to hear your piece or what you think someone should do. If I want to do this, then let me do this. You are so annoying!” he angrily replied.

“Stop! We’re not doing this! Come on. Let’s get into the practice room. We do not need to be fighting, right now. This is not the time or place,” Namjoon warned them.

Jimin angrily stormed into the practice room and slammed the door shut. Jen let out a frustrated sigh. This was not supposed to be like this. Why did it have to be this way?

“Jennie...” Namjoon frowned and walked over to her to try to calm her down.

More tears flowed down her face as she paced around. Blowing air out of her mouth, she looked up, trying to calm herself down. She wiped her tears and took a moment to regroup before turning her attention to her leader.

“So, you’re just going to let him continue doing this? Let him go? Do you not see what’s going on? How serious this is!? How wrong this is!?”

“I do,” he responded calmly. “We tried to invite him to eat but he just wouldn’t eat with us and wanted to continue to diet...”

"I just want this to end," she shook her head and walked past him to go back to the dance studio.

As soon as Jimin stormed into the practice room, the rest of the members immediately wanted to know what happened. Everybody heard their shouting match and from the look of Jimin’s scowl, things were not getting resolved, anytime soon.

No matter how many times the boys asked him what was wrong and what happened between him and Jennie, Jimin remained silent and shook his head. After a while, Jennie strolled in with Namjoon. Her scowl matched Jimin’s and she too remained silent when she was asked about what happened.

“Is everything all right?” Mr. Son asked, noticing a dramatic shift in the atmosphere of the room.

Neither Jen nor Jimin answered, feeling quite defeated and bummed from their huge blowout. Namjoon had to answer for them by saying that things would be fine. Dance practice was awkward and it seemed like the group couldn’t get synchronized because Jimin and Jennie were thinking about their fight. Namjoon also couldn’t quite stay focused as he thought about their mentalities. And the curiosity of the rest of the group led to everything noticeably off about their movements.

Seeing problems in their dancing, Mr. Son told them to stop and questioned everybody. “What is going on? We film the music video in a week and the choreography is looking sloppy. Whatever happened between you two,” he glanced at Jimin and Jennie, “You must put that behind you and stay focused on this comeback,”

Easier said than done.

After practice, Jennie chose not to go straight back to the dorm and decided to drown herself in work. She began writing things she was feeling. Writing out her feelings made her feel somewhat better, but just being away from Jimin for as long as she could also helped. Everything about that argument bothered her. She wanted to stop thinking about it but it was nothing that she could do to get it out of her head.

Same with Jimin as he continued to tell the members to leave the situation alone and let him cope in peace at the dorm.

The following day, Jimin and Jennie completely ignored each other. No acknowledgment whatsoever. Not even a good morning. Jungkook and Taehyung noticed the tension and were saddened that half of the Maknae Line weren’t on good terms. The two tried to get them to at least speak to each other but to no avail. This lasted for a few days.

Having enough of the tension, Namjoon went to her studio to speak with Jen privately.

“I want to talk to you about what happened between you and Jimin,” he said, taking a seat on her couch.

Jennie rolled her eyes at his name. She didn’t want to think about him. The sight of him and the sound of his voice and name made her cringe as she thought back to their intense confrontation. She didn’t want to think about it and wished Namjoon would drop it. The situation made her uncomfortable and she wanted to avoid it.

Running a hand through his hair, Namjoon let out a sigh. “I get what you tried to do but I don’t think the way you went about it was the best action,” he softly criticized.

Before she could protest, he shook his head and she closed her mouth.

“Jennie, you were in the wrong this time. You can’t just blow up like that when someone is dealing with issues as serious as this. That wasn’t right and you should consider Jimin’s feelings and his mentality. I think it hurt him more the way you raised your voice at him. He’s struggling and we’re all trying to help but we cannot force him to eat. I think if you two spoke privately instead of where all the staff was, things would have gone better. It’s not that easy to try to get him to eat just because you want to see him eat. I understand your intentions but again, you can’t make him eat, Jennie. You can’t force him to do what you think he should do. He has to make that choice,”

Jennie looked down at her lap and frowned as she thought about his words. Her mind went back to her dispute with Jimin and she cringed at how she acted.

Wow...

She did not see that point of view and now she felt like shit. She felt like a shitty friend and she felt selfish.

Yes, he was right. She should have gone a different route instead of blowing up like that. How she acted was judgmental and she seemed to have been more critical of Jimin instead of showing compassion. It just hurt to see him like that and she wanted to try to do something. But it seemed like she most likely made the situation worse along with her poor choice of words.

Jimin was right. She should just stop butting into people’s business all the time. It seems like everything she does just gets worse. She wanted to help but what she had done was not the best route to go. She needed to apologize to him.

“You two need some space,” Namjoon advised. “But once you two cooled down a bit, it’s best you apologize. I don’t want to see you two fight,”

After a deep conversation with Namjoon, Jennie spent the rest of the day catching up with GOT7, who they were thrilled to see. Spending time with them, made her briefly forget about the struggles with Jimin and boosted her mood with their goofiness and positivity.

The group decided to go paintballing, which she thought was one of the best ways to let off some steam. They chose to split into teams of two.

“I choose Jennie!” Jackson announced.

“Too late, I called dibs already,” JB replied.

“Since when!?”

“Since this morning,”

“She likes me the best, so that makes me her partner,” Bam Bam announced.

Jen laughed at their banter as the group began bickering.

“Actually, she’s my partner. I asked her the day before,” Mark grinned victoriously.

“Yep. He did. Mark is my partner,” she admitted with a sheepish grin.

“What!? That is not fair!” Jackson complained.

“If I had known I would have asked her as soon as she yes to paintballing!” Jinyoung exclaimed.

The teams consisted of Youngjae & JB, Jackson & Jinyoung, and BamBam & Yugyeom.

As they prepared to get ready, Yugyeom and Jennie chatted.

“Ah, I wish Jungkook joined us. He would’ve loved this,” he said, thinking about his best friend.

“I know~. Today, he’s busy working on some choreography. I believe it’s for Begin. But don’t worry we’ll have plenty of more opportunities to hang out. Comeback season is always so busy. I’m happy I was able to get away from work for a little while to see you guys.”

“Yeah, me too. I can’t wait. I miss him. You two are doing well, right?”

“Yeah huh. Still going strong,”

“Good. He talks about you so much when he’s with me and the guys. Don’t tell him, I said that,” he teased, making her face heat up.

She giggled. “Even when he’s not here, he always makes me feel special,”

“He better be treating you, well. If not, I’ll fight him,” Bam Bam added in a teasing manner, making them laugh.

“Haha, thanks. Hey guys, how’s your upcoming comeback coming along?” she asked. “I’m anticipating Hard Carry,”

“Oh, you are going to love it! I hope we get some wins for it,” JB responded.

“Ooh, my excitement for it is building~,”

“How are the preparations for your comeback?” Youngjae asked her. “I still cannot believe you dyed your hair red. It’s a great color for you. You look beautiful,”

“Aw, you think so?” Jen beamed and touched her red hair. “Thank you. I was so nervous about getting it dyed. But I’m happy with the results,”

“Oh, heck yeah! I was like is that Jennie!? Wow~! So pretty!” Bam Bam added.

“Red suits you well, Jen,” Yugyeom stated.

“You guys are so sweet. As for our comeback, it’s going well. But uh, Jimin and I had a little falling out. So, I’m a little off my game and happy I’m here to get rid of some of that tension,”

“A falling out?” Jinyoung asked, surprised.

“What?! You and Jimin? I thought I would never see this. You two are always so close,” Jackson said in disbelief.

His words made Jen feel even shitter as she felt even more bad about what she had done.

“What happened?” Mark asked.

She then explained the whole situation to them. Every detail and how she had a talk with Namjoon and that she realized how wrong she was.

“Although it’s none of my business with what he does with his body, I couldn’t help but want to talk him out of whatever he’s doing because his face looked so skinny. Skinnier than usual. But all I did was make it worse. I’m hoping maybe after today I could get him alone and apologize,” she said with a sigh.

“Ah, I see. I still think you are a good person. We all make mistakes and sometimes go a little too far with our words and how we say them. Jimin cares a lot about you. I’m sure this falling out will not be the end of your friendship. It’ll take some time but you and Jimin will rekindle soon enough,” JB encouraged her.

The gang played five rounds of paintballing. The games were filled with chaos and laughter as Jennie and Mark kept getting hit since the other teams wanted them out quickly. Although Jen and Mark didn’t win, it was just nice to get away from the stress of comeback preparations and unwind with everyone.

After paintballing, Bam Bam insisted on taking photos as he stood close by Jennie and lifted his phone in the air for a group selfie with him, Mark, and YoungJae.

‘She’s here with us!! I’m happy to see you, Jennie! #GOT8 #JenBam’ he posted to a widely positive reception that she was still in touch with GOT7.

---------

Later in the evening, Jen checked her Instagram to see more new photos that GOT7 posted with her.

To the selfie of her and Bam Bam alone, Jackson commented, 'I see u forgot to include me!’

Laughing, she typed out, 'Bro, you knew we were taking photos lolll :P’

After some more commenting, she went to find Jimin in Big Hit’s building. Hearing music from the practice room, she made her way over to it and watched him dance to Lie. It appeared that he had to be practicing for hours. Exhaustion was clear on his face but he showed no sign of stopping.

When Jimin saw the door open, he did not look too pleased to see who had walked in.

“What do you want?” he asked in a flat tone.

“I’m probably the last person you want to see, right now. But I just wanted to apologize for yelling at you. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you to eat. That was wrong of me. I’m sorry,” she said with a frown.

Jimin looked down and remained silent, taking her words in.

“I hurt you a lot,” she went on softly, voice sounding brittle. “Perhaps it was the way I yelled at you. Or how I sounded judgmental instead of showing you compassion and support. I shouldn’t have yelled or tried to pressure you to do anything. And you probably don’t want to speak to me or whatever so okay. I’ll give you space and stay out of your way. I just wanted to apologize. And whenever you are ready to talk, I’ll be here,”

She took his silence as where he stood in the situation. As expected, she knew he wasn’t going to easily forgive her. He needed time and space.

“O-okay, I’ll be going, now. See you,” she made her way to the door.

Part of her hoped that he’d stop her and say that he forgave her but it didn’t work that way in this serious situation. He let her go. And it’ll take him some time to forgive her.

---------

As the week went by, it was finally the day BTS filmed Blood, Sweat & Tears. Each member of BTS was dressed and ready for filming as they were excited about the upcoming comeback.

“Eeeek! Today is the day~! I am so stoked! We are here for the first day of shooting Blood, Sweat & Tears! Look at me! I look so bomb!” she turned around, showing off her outfit.

“Ah, watch the shirt. It’s not buttoned all the way,” Jin popped in the shot and fixed her shirt for her. “There, much better. Jin to the rescue!”

She laughed. “Thank you,”

“Wings, the album for us,” Rapmon declared when the camera was filming him.

“It’s very elegant and luxurious,” J-Hope addressed as he showed off the background. “Look at the set,”

For the first day, the group did their first shots of dancing. Even just performing it once, made the members hot and out of breath. The staff provided fans and blowdryers blowing cool air to cool them down, which helped tremendously.

“This concept is more sexy than usual. So, I am going to try to be sexy for this music video. Keyword, try,” Jen added.

'That won’t be hard, Jennie!’

After the first takes of dancing, the camera showed shots of the members watching the film, to monitor anything they needed to work on.

Hobi and Jennie glanced at each other after they watched how she messed up.

"You saw too, right?" Hobi asked as she nodded.

“Yeah. I did that, too early,” she replied as she watched herself jump a few seconds before the rest of the group.

Once they filmed again, a sudden sound of shattered glass was heard and the director stopped the filming.

“The glass is broken!” was announced and it was none other than Rap Monster who was the reason behind it.

'God of destruction, Rap Monster’

“Jeez...” Jen exclaimed, looking at the broken glass.

“Rap Monster!” J-Hope told the camera.

When the camera was pointed at Rapmon who laughed about the ordeal, he exclaimed, “Bam!” as he thought about how he broke the glass. “I don’t know why always...I don’t know why I break things,”

'We want to know the reason, too’

After the shooting resumed, the next scene was set in a room where the members sat on the couch. For this scene, Jennie was not in the same room as them. Instead, for the beginning of the music video, she had an individual shot.

“Action!”

She ran lightly down the hallway until she found a door. On the other side of the door was another camera waiting. She pulled the doors open and looked surprised to see the seven boys sitting.

“Cut! Good job!”

“Ayeeee. First try!” she bounced around in excitement.

Although Jimin still wasn’t speaking to her, he couldn’t help but smile softly at her excitement. She was doing a good job of filming.

“Jennie makes the best facial expressions when she is filming. Good acting,” Jin grinned as he got his makeup retouched.

After her shot was done, she stood in the background as the boys sat on the couch and floor. Suga stood behind Jimin and covered his eyes.

“We are moving to the table. We have to change our hairstyle. Let’s go!” Jimin said.

The group changed into white clothes. Jennie wore white pants and a white blazer with her red hair styled in a high ponytail. The scene was set up like a dinner. Decorations of white, including the tablecloths and chairs.

“Are you ready to enjoy the dinner?” J-Hope asked Suga.

‘The eight noble members’

“Rap Monster, I can see your belly button. This concept matches you so well,” Suga said, making him chuckle.

Jennie sat across from Jin on the other side of the table. Jungkook, Rap Monster, and V sat on one side while J-Hope, Suga, and Jimin sat on the other side. J-Hope and Jungkook sat the closest to Jennie while V and Jimin sat the closest to Jin. Jin sat up from the table and lifted his cup in the air, while the rest of the boys followed his movements with blank stares. All they had to do was raise up their drinks but for the first shot, V couldn’t contain himself and laughed, which made the rest of the group laugh, too.

‘One more try due to V’s laughter’

On the second time, the members cheered successfully. With Jennie, instead of a blank expression, she looked hesitant as she raised her glass and then stared at it. Locking eyes with Jin, she shook her head and he began to stop himself from drinking the drink.

Little did they know V watched everything. He looked intrigued by her as he raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Suddenly, she slowly turned her glass to the side and watched it spill on the table, refusing to drink it. With the camera focusing on V, while the rest were occupied with their drinks, he watched Jennie with a sly smirk on his face. Sensing that something wasn’t right, she narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Finished the shooting without laughing this time’

With the rest leaving, only Jin, V, and Jennie were left. The director wanted Taennie to improvise the scene of having a staredown at the table. As the two were filmed with tension advancing between them, Jin was stuck in the middle, looking on while he was also back in his seat. 

Jennie loved filming with Taehyung. It was just something about how at ease she felt when she was with him. He always found ways to enhance their scenes and he pushed her to be a better actress for Bangtan’s music videos. 

As they stared at one another, she did not look too pleased to see how confident V looked regarding Jin. After they got their shots, V was good to leave while Jen and Jin were left.

"V and Jen have good chemistry. I felt like I was interrupting something when I was watching them. I wanted to say, should I leave?” Jin laughed.

When the song came on, Jennie lip-synced her verse as she sat in a chair, leaning back. She had her feet on the table and then did more shots looking sexy for the camera. 

Being very close to EXO's Sehun since meeting the group, the two recently chatted about their comebacks. Sehun informed her he filmed shots of his feet on the table for Monster, so she wanted to do some sort of cool parallel with him and reenact his movements, hoping it would make it in the music video.

Once they got what they needed, Jennie and Jin were the last to leave as they bowed and thanked the staff.

“Day one complete! Time to go to sleep~!” she beamed.

‘Day 2’

Day two consisted of more individual shots for the group. Jen looked amazed at the set as the first set consisted of Suga and Jimin in the top room while Jungkook and Rapmon were in the bottom room. V even had to jump off a balcony as each member had different concepts. Jimin and Suga were the first ones to leave early as she waited for when it was her time to shoot.

After getting her hair and makeup done, she went to watch Jungkook film his shots on a swing that was hanging from the ceiling.

“I wish I was on the swing. That looks so fun,” she commented.

Jungkook had to do a tough wire scene, getting lifted in the air. His hair was covered in feathers which made her giggle. Once he was safely set down, he sat up, scrunching his face because of the feathers covering his face.

“Have a nice time up there?” she teased and removed the feathers from his head.

“It was alright. My back hurts but the scene was alright. I hated the feathers, though. Jennie, can you give me a massage when you get home from filming?”

When she responded, “Yeah, absolutely,” his eyes lit up.

Jennie's scene consisted of her in a garden and wearing a flower crown and tiara for the occasion.

“I’m in a garden~! Look at all these flowers,” she spun around. “Simple take. Explore around the garden, and look like the baddest chick in the game. I can do that,”

The camera followed her exploring the garden and looking beautiful in the environment. Jin was called in to join her and she filmed a few takes of being a good influence on him by taking walks together. She also placed a hand on his cheek and looked at him in concern, making sure he was all right with V lurking around them. After the rest of the members went home, Jennie and V were left with their scene together.

“For this, I’m the good girl. Or so I think. Let’s say I’m more of an angel while V is more like the bad guy. A fallen angel or a devil. I’m trying to be like the good side of Jin while he’s the bad side of Jin. Soooo, this is not going to end well. But I will prevail! I will win this battle and get Jin to the good side. So, in your face V! You are not winning today!” she punched the camera lightly.

When the camera transitioned to V, he chuckled, getting into character. “Ennie, Ennie, Ennie...she’s going to lose this battle. I’ll give her an A for effort but the dark side will win,”

“Lies!” Jen’s voice was heard across the room, making him laugh along with her.

“Action!” the director announced.

Jennie proceeded to walk down the hallway with V lurking from a distance. Feeling someone following her, she turned around but didn’t see anyone. But once she turned back around, V was in front of her, catching her by surprise. After they filmed the scene a few times, the director wanted their next scene to be sexy. The whole comeback had sensual vibes to it, especially with the choreography.

Lately, as Big Hit had been planning the comeback, they predicted that fans were going to give Taennie a lot of attention due to the fact of their scenes together for the music video. So, the company was highly considering making the pair act on that for promotions. Taehyung and Jennie didn’t mind it. They thought it was funny to troll fans into thinking they were dating or something for the comeback. Although there was a slight fear in the back of her mind of a hate train for her, in the end, she went with it and felt comfortable with her best friend.

Taehyung had been nothing but sweet to her about the idea. He even asked her about boundaries and what she was comfortable with so they could make this as believable as possible without making each other feel awkward. They thought that subtly was the way to go, with lingering gazes during music shows, and so on. They make a bold statement for the music video but then keep fans speculating with subtle displays of affection when on camera. 

When they told Jungkook about it, he kept wishing it was him in the situation but for the music video and comeback in general, the director felt best for it to be Taehyung instead due to the role he was playing. He understood it and knew it was just acting between them.

Getting in position for their next scene, Jennie gave him a warning, “I ate smarties before this so my breath smells like smarties. I hope you like the smell of smarties when you lean in close,”

Taehyung giggled. “It’s okay!”

He began to get himself into character, looking at the ground while Jennie continued to look up at him, ready to begin acting.

“And...ACTION!” the director announced.

As soon as he heard the director say action, it was like a switch went off of V as he looked up and appeared lustful towards her and a little crazed.

With her back connecting to the wall with a harsh thud, Jen did not flinch when V lunged and slammed his hands on the wall, trapping her while staring sharply into her eyes. The sound of his hands slamming on the wall made a loud sound as they maintained eye contact. The song played in the background while they proceeded to act out their scene.

‘Taehyung and Jennie filming part of their sexy scene together. Strong eye contact!’

She stared at him, unamused, making sure not to give in to anything he was trying to offer. She then turned her head away, facing the camera when he inched closer with a wicked grin on his face. She felt his warm breath against her cheek before he began to move down to her neck as she appeared to have an ongoing battle with giving him her attention. Lust was clear in his eyes as he tried his best to tempt her.

While still staring at the camera with a sexy gaze, she began to lip sync.

How much longer before you consume me?

No matter how much I resist, I can’t fight what you’re doing

My mind is telling me to break free but my body screaming out

No, I can’t want you, get out of my head

As you kiss every inch of me you see that I want it too

Breath on my neck, I bit off more than I can chew

V placed his forearm over her head and she looked up at him. She shook her head and was about to look away again but this time he grabbed her chin with his other hand and made her look at him.

Their faces were extremely close as their lips were centimeters away from each other. As they both glanced at each other's lips, it was like he was luring her to kiss him, wondering when she’d crack as he slowly felt her losing resistance. 

Reflecting on my choices, I’m wonderin’ if there’s any way out of this.

I’m losing this battle, I just can’t resist this

Only a matter of time before you screw me up and I’ll be stuck reminiscing

With that sinister smile on his lips, he stuck his tongue out and bit his bottom lip lightly. Pulling herself together and realizing how close she was to giving in, she shoved him back. Quickly, she walked away while he watched her go, satisfied.

“Great!” the director announced. 

As soon as they heard him say that, Jennie and Taehyung burst out in laughter, unable to hold it in anymore. After she walked back to him, they bantered to each other at how funny this was for them to do this. This was War of Hormone but on a whole different level of mature sexiness.

Although they weren’t sure how much of this footage would be in the MV, the staff wanted them to improvise. For another take, Jennie stood on his shoes to make herself higher and placed a hand on the back of his shoulder while looking over his shoulder at the camera in front of her. With her free hand, she ran a hand through his blond hair. Then for another shot, she stood in front of him with him behind, holding her close while she lip synced. 

When they went to see the footage with the director, they analyzed their movements and made sure everything was top notch. Taehyung laughed nervously when watching himself be so forceful with her.

“Ennie, I am so sorry,” he grinned nervously. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, no, I’m fine.” she smiled in reassurance and turned back to the video. 

Her face felt flushed when watching herself act sensuous. It was still so weird to see herself like that. But she was proud of her efforts.

"This is...intense," she looked on. "Is this going to be appropriate for the music video rating? Oh gosh. And maybe it was a good idea to wait until the members left to film. Because oh my gosh, their reaction to this? We’re never going to hear the end of it. Maybe this can be a Bangtan Bomb if all of this doesn’t make it in the music video,”

“Ennie looks radiant in this. Wow, so beautiful,” Taehyung praised.

“Oh stop~. Look at you! ARMY is going to blush when they see you in this music video. A born visual he is,”

“Thanks, Ennie. We make a great team,” he pulled her in for a kiss on her temple.

“This was perfect!” the director praised after watching all of their footage. Their chemistry was impeccable, to say the least. “We don’t need to take another shot of this scene. We’re finished,”

“YAY~! We did it!” Taehyung cheered and joined Jennie in jumping around while holding hands in excitement.

‘Day 3’

The final day of filming started with Jin who was supposed to kiss the statue and Jen was in the background.

“Action!”

The camera followed Jennie quickly as she was dashing down the hallway. But she was suddenly grabbed from behind by V as she yelled, “Don’t! Snap out of it!“

That seemed to have made Jin pause as he looked back to see the two. But in the end, she helplessly watched Jin fall into temptation. 

After the scene, all the members are together, acting like good friends. The scene was supposed to show them being free and mischievous. Jen strolled a little behind the boys, smiling at them while looking around. Her attention caught Jin staring at the painting called The Fall Of The Rebel Angels. There were two entrances on each side of him as he stood in the middle. A black entrance and a white entrance. One good and one bad. To resist or sin.

Jennie went up to him, standing in front of the white entrance. Gently grabbing onto one of his hands, he turned and looked down at her while she smiled, gesturing for him to follow her to the white entrance. But then V came over and stood on Jin’s other side, in front of the black entrance, which made Jin turn his attention to him. V smirked at the both of them while Jennie slowly dropped her smile, fearing for the worst.

After the members ran through the door and Jin was left behind, Suga was supposed to cover Jin’s eyes and after a few takes it looked funny due to his height, so Jin suggested switching partners. V replaced him to cover Jin’s eyes instead and it worked perfectly. Then for their final filming session, they were filmed performing the choreography.

When the director said cut, Jen turned around to see Jimin looking exhausted as he leaned forward, putting his hands on his knees. Jin went over to him and placed a hand on his back, looking concerned.

'Gosh, I hope he’s all right,’ she thought as she chose to keep her word by leaving him alone.

After the group performed the dance one last time, the director announced they were done and BTS celebrated with cheers and ran around, proud of their hard work.

------------

A few days later, Bangtan was filmed doing a dance practice for BST so it could be posted as a Bangtan Bomb. Jen found herself getting more and more frustrated and concerned for Jimin’s well being but chose to stay out of it to avoid another argument. She wanted to respect his space and wishes but it was eating her inside to see him look light headed every time he moved.

She wasn’t sure if it was people on social media who made fun of his weight or something but whatever it was, it made her upset to see her friend like this. 

She was distracted. Her conversation with Namjoon went through her head and she found herself glancing over at Jimin from time to time. He wasn’t himself. She noticed how he would stumble sometimes and hold his head. She feared something bad was about to happen.

With Jimin, he was feeling dizzy due to the lack of energy and food. His lightheadedness was getting stronger as the song progressed. After jumping around during the dance, Jimin felt himself falling back, and losing consciousness.

By instinct, Jennie ran up behind him to catch him. She fell hard on her butt, wincing at the impact. But all that mattered was that Jimin was OK in her arms. She could deal with some pain.

“Jimin!” she shouted with fear in her voice as the members rushed to him.

"What happened!? Is he all right?! Jimin!” loud commotion surrounded them as they tried to help him.

Everyone freaked out when he passed out and staff tended to him until he regained consciousness. Jen stood out of the way after the staff took over. Jimin kept reassuring everyone that he was fine and could keep going but dance practice was canceled for the rest of the day and he was told to rest.

At the dorm, Jimin went to rest like he was told and ate a little. Jen was happy to see him trying to put something in his stomach after passing out as well as continuing to drink water.

“That was scary, Jimin. You sure you’re all right?” Taehyung asked with concern as he sat on his bed with Jungkook. “I’m glad Jennie caught you before you hit your head on the floor. That would have been even scarier,”

The new information he was told sparked Jimin’s interest as he looked astonished that it was her. He did feel something soft before he lost consciousness.

“She caught me?”

“Yeah, it was like she zoomed right behind you before you connected to the floor,” Jungkook added. “Like she knew something was wrong. I know you have your reasons for doing this but please be careful with the diet. We’re all here for you, you know that,”

Jimin nodded. He was grateful for Jennie catching him. He seriously could have given himself a concussion since he fell so abruptly. He found himself wanting to see her. But then he remembered that she wanted to give him space and was going to wait until he was ready to forgive her. To tell the truth, he had forgiven her as soon as she apologized. But he chose to let her go and see how long she was going to give him space. She did a great job letting him be, and respecting his wishes. He asked himself how long he was going to continue to ignore her.

But in the end, he missed his friend.

He missed his Ennie.

He knew she was trying her best to be a better friend and not lash out like she did. To show more compassion in his struggles instead.

Later that evening, Jen went to peep into Jimin’s room to find him sleeping while Taehyung and Jungkook were still with him. The way she stuck her head in the room hesitantly was noticed by the two boys as they waved and smiled.

She sighed, worrying about Jimin’s well being as she walked in the room. In a hushed voice, not wanting to wake him, she asked, “How is he?”

“Doing good,” Taehyung responded while Jimin listened in, with his eyes still closed.

The sound of her voice made it hard to resist smiling but Jimin kept a neutral face. It was good to hear her ask about him although she still wanted to give him space.

“He ate quite a bit too,” Jungkook added.

“Great. As long as he’s ok. He scared the shit out of me, man...” she said, thinking about how he passed out.

“He gave us all quite a scare. I’m glad you were there to catch him, Jagi,”

“Yeah, you were so fast,” Tae pointed out.

“I dunno what came over me but something told me to keep an eye on him during practice. Well, I just wanted to know how he was doing. I’ll see you guys in the morning. Good night,” she turned to leave.

“You’re leaving already?” she heard Jimin say as he opened his eyes.

Turning back around, she answered in surprise, “Oh, I thought you were asleep. I just wanted to check on you and give you your space,”

“Can I have a moment alone with her?” he requested as he sat up.

“Sure. We’ll be gaming,” Jungkook answered and left the room with Taehyung.

Once they were left alone, Jimin spoke softly. “Thank you,”

“For what?” she looked at him in confusion.

“For catching me when I passed out. Thank you,”

“Always,” she nodded a few times.

“You can come closer, Ennie. I don’t bite,” he chuckled softly and gestured for her to come over to the bed.

The sound of her nickname made her stomach flip as a small smile came across her face. She did what she was told and sat on his bed.

“...how are you feeling?” she asked softly.

“I’m feeling better,” he responded truthfully. “I felt good after eating something,”

“I'm glad to hear you say that,”

Jen was surprised when he reached out to hold one of her hands.

“I’ve been thinking about our friendship since you apologized,”

“Me too,”

“What you did that day really hurt me,”

She nodded. “I know...and I’m truly sorry,”

“I know you are. I see that you are. Over the days, I’ve been missing you and our friendship. Things aren’t how they are anymore and it makes me feel weird. I want things to go back to how they used to be with us,”

“Me too. You’re important to me,”

“You’re important to me,” he squeezed her hand lightly. “And I want us to treasure each other, move forward, and understand each other’s boundaries. I want us to be there for each other and support each other. When things get tough, I want us to talk it out privately without yelling or screaming. I know all friendships aren’t perfect and we’ll argue once in a while but let’s try to work on not yelling at one another like we did,”

“Yeah. I’ll do better and be a better friend to you. Again, I’m so sorry, Jimin,” she said as tears began to fall from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, too," 

He leaned in to kiss her on the forehead and then pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. He felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. Less stressed about everything as he expressed himself to her. His eyes had gotten glossy as he pulled away to look at her.

With a smile, he reached out to wipe her tears with his thumb and then pulled her in for a close hug. A hug that was long overdue as they both felt relieved to hug each other again.

“It’s okay...” he murmured and placed a hand on the back of her head. “I’ll be okay...and we’ll be okay...”

They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company. It felt good to be forgiven and to move forward. Jimin was right, things were going to be okay.

After pulling away, he asked, “Can you stay?”

“Yeah, of course, I can,”

He let her in under the covers with him and they cuddled, before slowly drifting to sleep.

[the-loveliest-lotus]

I got inspired yesterday and wrote this little interaction between @raddouchebag's OC Bastian Kitzler my OC Lucy Desmond (she has a sideblog now @lucyskyedesmond). These two have some kindred spirit vibes and I ran with it (and I adore Bastian). 🖤

Word Count: 1,676 words

Note: Has some potential spoilers for The Wicker Man (my mtl fanfiction), but super minimal.

~~~~~

Lucy was standing outside on one of Mordhaus’ balconies, watching the sunset. Normally she’d be up on the roof, but she wanted a change of pace and something in her intuition had told her to come down here tonight.

As if on cue, Dethklok’s new producer walked outside, lighting a cigarette and not quite paying attention. When he noticed her, he stopped, as if he was wondering if he should find somewhere else to have a cigarette. Lucy spoke up with a playful smirk on her lips, “I won’t bite you unless you ask me to.” Then she got slightly more serious, “Unless you were hoping for some solitude in which case I can go to my usual spot up on the roof.”

He debated for a second, trying to ignore how flustered the initial comment had made him, and then shook his head, “No, you’re fine. I just didn’t expect anyone to be here.”

She smiled a little, “Fair enough.”

He walked over and stood downwind of her so as not to get the cigarette smoke in her face. Lucy appreciated the little gesture. She raised her joint that she was smoking slightly, “You want a hit?”

They were done working for the day, so he figured it couldn’t harm anything. “Thank you,” he said as he took the joint and took a little hit. He held it for a second and exhaled, passing it back to her. Bastian felt an instant wave of calm wash over him. The weed was strong, but it was pleasant, like a heavy weighted blanket being pulled up over his soul.

She took another hit herself and offered it back to him, but he refused, “This is the perfect level for me.” He smoked his cigarette, wondering how she wasn’t on her ass with how strong that hit had been for him, but she broke the silence before he could ask about it.

“You know, I don’t think I could ever get tired of watching the sun set or rise. No matter what stays the same, no matter where you are, you never see the same one twice.”

Bastian raised an eyebrow at her, the thought was so much deeper than he had been expecting. From what he had seen of Lucy so far, she was very bold, a little brash, and extroverted to the nth degree. To see her so calm and enamored with something as simple as a sunset was surprising. “You watch them a lot, I take it?”

She nodded, “There’s something peaceful about it.”

Bastian looked at the small woman, she was so different when she was alone than when she was with the rest of the band. She seemed less intimidating like this. “You know, I’ll admit, when I first met you, I thought you were somewhat intimidating.”

She looked up at him with a little smirk on her lips, “Excellent, my façade is working.” Her blue eyes looked him up and down, “Really though?”

He nodded, but made a joke to keep things light, “Maybe it’s the jacket.”

Lucy smirked, she could tell something had happened to him in his past that was the real reason that he had said anything at all about her being intimidating. People always seemed to give her a flash of their cards even when they were the best of poker players. Even still, she barely knew Bastian yet despite having worked with him for a while, so instead of getting too deep, she said, “It usually disturbs people a little. That uncanny valley effect that the basilisk skin gives off does that.”

His eyebrows raised, “Basilisk skin?”

She nodded, “Perks to having the Blues Devil among my lovers. He has been very protective over the years, far beyond the duties of our initial contract. He wanted to give me a jacket that was almost like armor in case a fan ever tried stabbing me again.” Lucy looked at the jacket fondly, the rainbow iridescence of the scales glimmering in the fading sunlight. “Sometimes love is more about what they do than about what they say, you know?”

Bastian couldn’t help the little pang of envy, he had seen her throng of lovers. Even the ones that she was only intimate with on a more casual level seemed to care about her deeply. Though, something that he had wondered about stumbled from his lips before he could think much about what he was saying, “How do you handle not being some of their number one choice?”

Lucy looked back at Bastian, there was something in his eyes. Gods, this man just wanted to be loved and she could see it written on his face. He was pining after someone, and she had a good feeling she knew who it was, but she wasn’t about to get too specific. So instead, she answered honestly, “I’m my own number one. After I killed my abuser, I made myself a promise, and that’s why even with Pickles I put myself first.” She saw the face he made about Pickles and made a mental note of it, but continued, “People come and go. Life changes, and the only consistent thing we have in life is ourselves. I make me my priority. If people don’t like that, then they’re not meant for me. It makes life a lot easier to navigate.”

“You make it sound so easy,” he said, a sadness in his voice that she wondered if he was even aware of.

She shrugged, “I’ve had a lot of practice. Really, I was like this even with my abuser, it was just… a hot mess.” She had a bitter little smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes, and Bastian could see the pain on her face. It was a pain of sorrow where you wonder what your life would have been like if you had never met the person that caused you emotional damage. He knew that pain all too well.

He put a tentative hand on her shoulder, and he could feel her relax at his touch. It almost surprised him to see someone relax that quickly at his hand when they hardly knew each other outside of work. “At least he didn’t seem to dim that light inside of you.”

Lucy blushed a little at his words, a softer smile forming on her lips, “Your light is brighter than you think it is too, Bastian.” She turned back toward the sunset and leaned against him. Lucy could feel him tense up, but then he relaxed and put an arm around her, leaning back into her a little. It made her smile a little more. The man was like a feral and frightened cat, but he seemed willing to open up with a little patience and kindness. It reminded her of herself in some ways, even if she did express it differently than he seemed to.

They didn’t speak again until the sun was completely down. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something, by the way,” Lucy said, glancing up at him, neither of them having moved. He raised an eyebrow at her and she continued, “Would you sign my copy of the Play Girl that you were in?”

He chuckled, “I assume you got it for the articles?”

“Of course, I’m an avid reader of… Oh who am I kidding, absolutely not. I don’t have a whole lot of them by any means, but I collect the ones that really catch my eye, and yours happened to.”

That got a full laugh out of him and Lucy decided she liked that sound and wanted to hear more of it. “Only if you’ll sign my copy of the Play Boy that you were in,” he said.

She laughed a little, “Did you get that one for the articles?”

Bastian smirked, “Normally I don’t get them, I’m not really a fan of how they treat models, but it was an attempted apology from Murderface and Toki for something over the line that they said about a month ago and the photo set was pretty creative.”

“That sounds about right.” She would hazard a guess that Murderface had been an insensitive jackass and Toki had been along for the ride. The fact that they were using her Play Boy issue as an apology token was somehow fitting for them. “I’m surprised they still had a copy that was intact and not covered in questionable fluids at this point, to be honest.” Bastian made a face at the thought and she snickered a bit. “I’ll have to tell you all about the shoot. Charles negotiated full creative control within certain parameters for me, so I’m sure I didn’t have the usual shoot experience.”

“You’re lucky. My shoot…” He trailed off, “I have stories, not all of them pleasant.” Bastian changed the subject a little, trying to keep the mood light, “Believe it or not, I did actually read the interview. It was pretty good. The fire fans were a nice touch too.”

She grinned, it was nice seeing him slowly let his walls down, “Thanks. I loved being able to really express myself.” Lucy wanted to know a bit more about him if he was feeling open right now, “I’d love to hear some of your stories while you’re signing mine too, if you’re up for it, at least. Hell, doesn’t even have to be from the Play Boy shoot, I’d love to hear some of your industry experiences that don’t suck.”

Her good mood was shockingly infectious. Or maybe it was just the weed. ‘Maybe it’s both.’ “Alright, we’ll swap some stories,” he said, laughing again.

Lucy smiled at the sound. She was glad that they had an excuse to hang out tonight, she was hoping to hear a lot more of that laugh. “Why don’t you go grab your copy and meet me in my room?” she asked.

He looked down at her, a sparkle in his eye, glad that this night was taking such an interesting turn. “Sounds like a plan.”

[diaryofawhimsicalmaniac]

September 1st, 2024 [2:34 AM]

A friend had asked for my help with her resume. I had many friends resumes before, and frankly I enjoy the editing process. I know how to bullshit and make things sound fancy like I know what I'm talking about. Not lying on paper but certain words can make someone stand out and really highlight their experience and skills. I'm better at doing that for people than for myself. I have a solid friend group at this stage of my life and I am confident in their skills and capabilities. I want nothing more for them to shine and pursue the life they desire for themselves. I'm so happy to know such amazing and loving people...and more importantly I'm grateful for having these people who love me whole heartly and truly support me. Even despite my annoyances and flaws, they know who I am and how I operate.

When my friend sent me an old copy of her resume, I simply downloaded it and when I got the chance to work on after work. I just finished it now and when I was going to send, I actually read her previous email, and it stated that she needed it that night...which was yesterday. Whoops. I sent it to her anyways because regardless I know she could use the new revised resume. For a moment I felt bad that I didn't read her email correctly however I know that there was only so much I could do on my own time. Homegirl and I talked about me helping her a week or so prior... but we tend to both leave things to the last minute. One of the many quirks we share and have a mutual understanding about each other. In the past, I would have been guilt ridden...beating myself up for not doing all that I could have for a friend. Overlooking their responsibility in their own matter and shouldering the blame. Or the worst part...younger me possibly wouldn't have even followed thru to help at all...I would have been in my mind, not acknowledge my capabilities and panic about not doing things correctly and face rejection...so instead of trying and put my best efforts forward, I would have ignored the texts and situation all together. Pretend I never got the message...

I would let my insecurities get the best of me and out of stress, I would detached myself. I did this often when I was younger...it didn't make me a good friend or reliable person..

I was highly aware of this

it torn me apart

I was reminded of all these feeling when I was helping my friend. We had we worked together on her resume a few years before, and I had just came across a saved copy recently on my computer! So I had looked thru several thumb drives and folders to find it. Came across files that I had saved from college when I was 19/20 years old. Photography and Philosophy essays, word docs with links to YouTube videos and Tumblr pages that don't exist anymore. Fanfiction idea pages. Still pretty solid story ideas if I do say so myself. Among these docs were journal entries that I wrote to myself...some were reflections of the year and what I did, what goals I didn't reach for myself or even where I had traveled to that year. It was such a time capsule to see where I was at that time and what I doing...or how I was feeling...

There was one file in particular that was rather...I don't know how I would categorize it...Sad? Concerning? Insightful??

Eye Opening and Depressing for sure tho...

It was a letter I wrote to myself when I was 20. I forgot how much I hated myself...how unhappy with the person I was. The language I used towards myself really reflected how much pain I was in...I had this grand vision of the type of person I wanted to be however my insecurities and coping mechanisms were playing their part in my self-sabotage. I was disgusted with what I saw in the mirror and was no near of the type of person I wanted to be... When I talk about my early 20's, I refer it to a dark time of my life...a period of being stagnant and unhappy. Heavy shit...my mental now is lighter in comparison to how I was back then.

Perseverance, Boundaries, Faith, Good Friends and Weed really does make a difference.

Currently, I am 30 years old.

I am happy with the person I've become. I still have a version of myself in my head that I make comparisons to but I'm better at reminding myself to enjoy the person that currently exists. It helps that I have my friends who I tend to and they in return tend to me. Healthy boundaries with myself and others and acceptance for my flaws and the motivation to continue to grow and thrive. I don't wish to live my life in dread anymore, I'm living my life and I am here to enjoy the journey for as long as I'm able to.

I hope my friend gets that job she wants. Her resume is quite impressive...if I do say so myself

.

[mylittleredgirl]

the rest of it!! ("hawkeye" to "the interview")

sooooooo i didn't love "hawkeye"

i'm sorry!!!

i really didn't think that would be an unpopular stance!!!! but i saw a post yesterday where a bunch of people said it was their very favorite, so i dutifully went back and watched it a second time to appreciate it more

and yeah! if you have the opportunity to have alan alda do a stand-up monologue about the beauty and pain of the human experience for half an hour why wouldn't you??

but the first time i saw it, i didn't realize it was a gimmick episode and thought were setting up a different premise (a power reversal -- hawkeye is now the one injured and helpless and can't communicate with people trying to take care of him, and we're about to learn about ✨the universal language of compassion✨)

so i felt increasingly agitated watching these poor people just... silently ignoring this manic dude bleeding in their house

anyway! back to camp

my favorite of the Interchangeable Hot Nurses Able is back!! my kingdom for a blonde with a voice like that whew 🔥

it's the first date hawkeye gets all season and she basically has to talk him into it and then he can't perform...

i loved the compassionate way they handled that subplot

and radar!! he gets to be so sweet to a couple of patients this season, and every time it's setting me up for a heart squeeze 😭 his new bestie who dies!!! the four leaf clover for the kid who's scared to go back to the front!!

and we learn radar is always so nice because "i used to get hit if i wasn't"... 🥺 thank god he has a new dad now who encourages his silly turtle impressions

okay the mutiny episode is BONKERS

you want hawkeye sentenced to death?? bro???? TO DEATH bro?? frank my guy i don't see how you're coming back from this one

like if they didn't keep underlining THE DEATH PENALTY there's a Justified Asshole case to be made about how often hawkeye has drugged frank to knock him out of commission but like there's nowhere to go here

anyway, even under these dire conditions, hawkeye took the time to put on the official court record that frank used to bang his receptionist on the regular at a sketchy motel

frank's delusional POV is sooooo enlightening. he's an unreliable narrator in his own life at all times. he really has no idea what's going on ever and everything he does makes so much more sense now.

it KILLS me that we didn't see margaret from his point of view, KILLS me. it would have been so bad.

she is so conspicuously absent in this episode (and this disc in general) that i started awkwardly scrutinizing her whenever she shows up to try and guess if they were writing around a pregnancy

but no! instead i think they're just absenting her from episodes where frank is being so unhinged that margaret would look insane for standing by her man

she comes back again for a scene in "smilin' jack" and b.j. tries to make a crack about seeing her in her underwear, but he's just too babey still to pull off a genuine sexual harassment

also at some point he tells hawkeye that his comebacks are "not funny but fast :)" somebody give that kid an animal cracker and teach him to how wear a surgical beanie

"the more i see you"... damnnn they nailed this one. i didn't recognize blythe danner until i saw her name but the whole time i was like WHO is this heavyweight they brought in to square up with alan alda?? this is NOT a random tv guest actress

they wrote a really perfect character, too. she has to be funny of course, and so smart that hawkeye can respect her as an equal, so that he can really love her -- and then because she's as smart as he is, she's smart enough to leave him twice

and it's really a "remember this is the 1950s" moment because when she says i had to survive like!! she means that! get with it man! she can't have a checking account without a husband!!

DELUGE IS SO SO MUCH

chinese have entered the war again, resetting the time loop

baby margaret with a crew cut?????????

i realize the story is that they didn't let her have one, but she can have one in my head and it's so cute i may never recover

and look. i'm not asking her to shoot anyone. but if we go through eleven seasons of this show and i don't get to see margaret competently handling a gun what are we even doing here

and colonel potter thanking her at the end!!! we've gone from "she's a creepette" to custody of child meme mutual respect in one season!

something i really love about potter is how he takes in information, processes it, and is willing to change his mind without ever taking his hand off the rudder (or the reins i guess?). star trek captain level leadership.

the first time frank has ever had useful instincts in the o.r. (jumping in to help b.j. when the light bulb blows over the patient) immediately upstaged by massive explosion. NO growth allowed!!

"the interview" is fantastic. brutal. legendary.

hawkeye lost his morale six months ago 🥺😭 i'm not ok i'm not ok

"i've been here somewhere between some time and eternity" oh so hawkeye is the one who's aware of the time loop

i don't think we get to appreciate how good harry morgan is as an actor until this

i'm also fascinated by b.j. saying he would have thought nursing was man's work until a few years ago, when we know margaret's mother was a nurse in the army. is this an anachronism thing or a b.j. thing?

father mulcahey DESTROYED in this one

what more can i even say???? second year in a row of twenty-some episodes of comedy and then slamming you in the face last minute to make america stare into the abyss all summer

see you next season season for more comedy hijinks!! i guess!! 🥴

m*a*s*h update! rest of season four baby!

("der tag" to "the interview")

actually just "der tag" whoops because this took too long and i gotta get food BUT i'll be back in a few hours with the rest of it!!

"der tag"! i loved it! the swamp boys all hanging out (under coercion)

frank being so willing and happy to join the party as soon as they convince him they "really want" to hang with him is pathetic but also fascinating

(if you're me and have been shaking frank around in a jar in your head all week)

even if you're not though, you gotta admit it's a little crushing when they tell him to fuck off at the end and he doesn't know why. he doesn't know! he thought they were finally buddies!!!

& anyway his quick flip to the drunk and disorderly side made me wonder how things might have gone in an AU where frank/margaret never happened

of course frank still arrives in korea as a terrible doctor and a smug patriotism talking-point machine but as we know, he's also a spineless weasel who's desperate for anyone to talk to him

and what happens in canon is that margaret gets so horny for him that she takes on the 🇺🇸 solemn patriotic duty 🇺🇸 of uncovering the Great American Hero that's definitely hiding in there probably

he just needs to be encouraged!! by the love of a good american woman (that he then won't be able to live without)!!

so she constantly inflates and defends his misplaced self-righteousness as she tries to sculpt him like a bonsai tree into the version of general frank burns that exists in her head or at least into a functional person

but let's say she hadn't given him the time of day to begin with, because then frank would have no choice but hang out with hawkeye/trapper/b.j. even though they torture him, right -- and they're so bored they would have let him sometimes -- and because he has no moral center he might have been influenced by them instead

and he would still suck! but possibly in a new way??

anyway. thought exercise over. last point for this episode is that it's really good frank passed out when he did because no one would ever find kellye's body if margaret found out frank is hot for her

AS HE SHOULD BE

[asherheed]

words, how little they mean, when you're too late

⚘ ‹ chapter index › pt. 1 pt. 2

⚘ ‹ featuring › gojo x reader

⚘ ‹ tags › implied cheating, angst, you deserve better, breaking up, gn!reader

⚘ ‹ word count › 0.774k

⚘ ‹ note › title is from sad beautiful tragic by the wonderful taylor swift. i wrote this because i was feeling very hurt and thought hey what if i make myself sadder lol

You wished he could have told you instead.

You sat on your bed; knees curled up to your chest. You wondered where Gojo was at right now. He was always bad at updating you, even with the effort he tried to show. It seemed like whenever you tried asking him to do things that would assure you of his affection, he’d tell you he’d respect it and do it–but half-ass it in the end.

The same old cycle: he ignores you, you hurt in silence; you beg for reassurance; he promises you the same thing. Rinse and repeat.

You pondered at the idea that hey, maybe, you were the problem. The self-help books and articles you’ve read told you to focus on yourself, and you do; you’ve picked up your old hobbies, tried new ones, and pieced yourself back together when you were dealing with your issues. You tried not to bother him with these things, since he often just says the same thing, and leaves you be.

Today, you didn’t text him. Last night, he’d left you to read and came back to your apartment as dawn was breaking. “Work was busy.” He’d muttered, trying to hold you, then promptly fallen asleep. His arms felt like burning metal on your skin.

Last week, you caught a bruise on his neck when he was drying his hair (“Geto pinched me really hard.”). Three days ago, you noticed faint lines on his back (“My back was really itchy.”). Yesterday, Geto called and said he saw your boyfriend leave with someone. Tonight, there was no communication from Gojo at all.

You pursed your lips and closed your eyes. This life wasn’t real, right? Maybe it was a sick and humorless glitch in the simulation.

It had been like this for two months. You tried not to doubt him. He’d always given you everything you wanted, so surely, he must love you still? Surely, there was no one else?

Your empty lock screen mocked you as the clock ticked to two in the morning. In the past, Gojo would have left work at five and told you he was coming home. You’d be commuting from your job and texting him on the train about the silly things that may have happened during the day, elaborating when you finally see each other.

Now, he would leave for work when he wasn’t supposed to with a chaste kiss on your cheek as you pretended to sleep. When you hear the door to your apartment close, the tears always came right after.

Confronting him was a tiring concept when the signs were screaming at your face to be heard. You wanted to put up a fight, wanted to make a scene, or call him names. You wanted him to hold you and say you will always be the only one, even though the words sound like poison to your ears.

Eyeing your bags by the door, you sighed. The ride to your parents’ house was a long one. You rented a car, so you could get away without a fuss, but you couldn’t seem to push away your optimism that perhaps this was all one big misunderstanding.

Your phone screen lit up, and you felt your heart drop as you read the message.

Gojo: they’re asleep right now, we could try doing it there like you’ve always wanted

Nausea churned in your stomach. You dropped your phone as harsh reality came crashing down on you. You ran to the bathroom. With shaking hands, you gripped the sink as you threw up. The sound of the faucet running filled the room with your breathing. Your chest heaved in effort, your eyes blurring your surroundings, and you thought of his lips on her neck.

Picturing the memory of his smiles, and your love for how it showed his crinkly eyes, you always thought they were yours to see up close forever. You always believed he would be yours forever. Maybe he was never yours for a while.

A sob escaped your lips as your fingers dug further into the sink. You caught sight of your reflection: red-rimmed and tired eyes, tear stains on your cheeks, and the general air of a person whose denial came to murder them in cold blood.

There was nothing left you could do when the elephant in the room had already been revealed to you.

You took one last glance at yourself in the mirror. Stepping outside the bathroom, your phone lit up once more.

Gojo: i love you

You deleted the message, grabbed your bags by the door, and didn’t look back.

[lqtraintracks]

I'm sorry to bother you, but what do you think about all the comments saying everyone needs to stop interacting with all HP material including fanfiction because of how horrible JKR is?

Hi there. Yes, her again. I want to take a moment to just acknowledge the next-level cruelty, ignorance, and hatefulness of her newest tweet(s). I saw one of them yesterday and felt sick to my stomach, and then I felt an all-consuming rage. The false and inflammatory rhetoric she’s spreading, make no mistake, contributes to violence against trans women. It contributes in a very real way to them being targeted with physical and sexual violence and to being murdered. JKR is an actual piece of shit. So I will never presume to tell people what is the right and wrong way to handle that for themselves.

Here’s the thing. We all have to make good decisions on our own behalf about whether or not to engage with HP material, whether that be the books and merch, or fan creations. I will never ever think it’s my place to decide that for someone else, and I respect and honor every fandomer’s choice to completely disengage with it all. Take care of yourselves, whatever that looks like.

I will also say that for me, there is a big difference between, say, buying a box set of the HP books or a Hogwarts Lego set or anything else that makes that vile scourge of a person money, and producing or engaging with fan content. I will never buy her shit again. That’s a firm boundary for me. I do not support her or her sickening views in any way. I do, however, continue to write fanfiction and engage in fan content for that fictional world. And let me tell you why.

I’m finding that HP fanworks are not only the best place but maybe the ONLY fucking place to find solace as a queer and gender fluid person who loves HP. It’s the only place I’ve found that is actively producing queer and trans content, which is more important than ever, in my opinion, to countering JKR’s awful lies and monstrous beliefs. There are trans fandomers creating beautiful things, and I would never presume to tell them that they shouldn’t. If your response to JKR hating you is to throw that hatred back in her face and write or draw self-love and love for others instead? I honor the fuck out of that choice. Trans fandomers making one another feel loved and seen is a spectacular way to deal with this shit if you ask me. I respect it just as much as I respect the choice to walk away.

When I write for this fandom now, it is always at least in part a big fuck you to Joanne, but more importantly it’s a message to trans fandomers, and that message is this: I see you. I love you. You are not only valid as a person but you are essential to this and every other fandom. These stories are yours more than they are hers at this point. You have great power here, to create an HP world where you set to right everything that JKR destroyed by being a heinous bigot. Not that you have any responsibility to do so. But it is your world, if you want it.

You are Hogwarts. You are HP. You are magic.

She can never ever fucking take that away from you or any of us. And as a fandomer and creator here, it is my honor to unfuck this world of hers and make it as queer and trans-friendly as possible. Because it should be.

I have not always included trans and nonbinary characters in my fanfiction. This is relatively recent for me, because I’m learning as I go, becoming a better ally as I go, and opening my eyes to the need there a little more every day. It has in fact been JKR’s utter bullshit that finally pushed me to get over my fear of writing trans characters badly, because I was afraid I’d get something wrong, and to just do it anyway, fear and all (and employ a sensitivity reader). It’s because of her hatred and the huge platform from which she spews it that I got over myself real fucking quick on that issue and wrote my first trans characters into a fic. But I’m late. I recognize that. I’m trying to make up for my lack of awareness now.

Look, I love writing HP. These are the characters I fell in love with writing before JKR showed how truly horrible she is. I’m still in love with them. I love telling stories about love with them. I also hate that JKR has made it feel unsafe for many trans fandomers to be here. I fucking hate her for that. But I imagine a world where we all abandoned the fandom because of her, and I think… does that let her win? Does that let her define what Hogwarts is, who these characters are? I don’t have that answer. And just as we all have the individual right to walk away, if there were a mass exodus because of that, so be it. She’d certainly deserve to see her world burned down around her. But that’s never going to happen to her. That won’t affect her, sitting on her piles and piles of money and being a raging TERF. No, that would only affect us. That would be a loss for us.

Yes, it’s a valid choice to walk away, and I support every individual’s right to do exactly that. But I’m going to stay. I’m going to stay so that any trans readers of mine can see themselves in what I write, can see themselves loved in it. I don’t think I’m all that important personally, and there are a ton of creators producing more trans content than I am. But I want to contribute to that. I want to be a small part of someone feeling welcome in HP rather than reviled. I want to be some small speck of someone feeling like they matter and they belong, that it’s her that doesn’t belong anymore, not us. I want to take HP back and write stories about how well we can love each other rather than let her define that world with her hate.

So I’m staying. And I’m writing HP. If you need to back away and leave fandom because of her rampant toxicity, please do that and know that I love and support you. But if you want to stay… there are those of us that are here for you, that want you here, that know trans fandomers make fandom, and we appreciate you. I’m here for that.

[intergalacticaquarium]

I Wanna Wear Your T-Shirt

Sooo...I made a post yesterday about how making the hellfire stuff horny made me feel kinda weird and then @kriffingstars gave me the PERFECT alternative so I wrote this

Summary: Eddie's girlfriend dons his Hellfire T in an attempt to turn him on but he can't stop thinking about the dudes. It works out in the end, though, when she thinks of something amazing instead.

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

content: no warnings just making out, just some fluff and some romance and Eddie getting to feel like a rock star. Also it's kind of a sequel to my princess Leia costume fic because it's in a very similar vein which wasn't intentional but I incorporated it anyway.

(fics masterpost)

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Eddie would be out of the shower any minute and this time Y/N was sure that she had him. She played with her hair a little more in the mirror and looked at herself in the hellfire t-shirt without pants and grinned, sitting down on the bed nonchalantly and crossing her bare legs. 

When he came in with a towel wrapped around his waist and saw her his eyebrows shot up. 

"Damn you look…really hot." He said, a little dazed for a moment. She stood up and did a little spin and he grinned and did everything in his power to ignore the brief mental flash of Gareth burping his bardic attacks at Hellfire and get back to his super hot girlfriend. 

She leaned in and kissed him and he wrapped his arms around her. 

Fuck yeah dude- give it bigger horns that'll be cooler. He heard in Dustin's voice and he squeezed his eyes shut forcefully as she kissed him. She felt him stiffen and pulled back.

"You good?" She asked, concerned. He nodded too many times and leaned back in to kiss her, stretching her out on his bed. 

"I roll charisma to seduce the barmaid." "Jeff you can't just say that you have to actually seduce her-" 

He just tried to kiss her harder and will his Hellfire idiots out of his head. 

"Wait, why are you calling it the jizz cave?" "Because Mike wrote going spunking in the cave." "Spelunking! Obviously I wrote spelunking. I just have bad handwriting!"

The mental image of Mike Wheeler was a solid enough blast of cold water that he almost threw himself away from her. 

"Whoa, what is wrong?" She asked, concerned.

"It's the shirt. I can't stop thinking about the guys and its really killing the mood." He confessed hastily, and she barked out a laugh.

"Are you joking?" She asked, still thinking it was funny. 

"No! It's weird I don't want any part if hellfire to be sexy I can't think of anything less sexy than Hellfire it's just so many teenage dudes and that room stinks like shit and sometimes Gareth burps his spells and your brother is there- It would be like if I showed up in Dustin's thinking cap to seduce you."

"Oh God gross no way gross gross gross" she said whipping the shirt off her head and across the room.

"Shit, I'm sorry this is like the Leia costume all over again." He said, and she couldn't hold back a cackle remembering him blanching and saying Y/N, it's called the Slave Leia outfit its kinda hard to get turned on when all the can think about is what Jaba put her through. 

"No, it's fine honestly. Now I just wanna see if I can nail down your taste."

"I mean…I can try to think of something if you need a suggestion." He offered and she made a thoughtful face. 

"Nope, I have an idea. This one's gonna work." She said, and stood up to find another shirt. 

"You don't have to get dressed." He complained good naturedly, and laughed when she scrunched up her nose.

"I think I do because now I'm imagining Gareth burping spells and the mood is gonna need at least an hour to recover from that blow." She said, and he laughed too, pulling her into a hug.

----

The next Tuesday he and the band were setting up, and he saw Y/N come in wearing her denim patch jacket which was suspiciously zipped up to the top. She didn't come over to say hi like usual and they started to play to the unenthusiastic four drunks.

He kept his eyes on her as he played, picking her favorite next to his band mates annoyance. She was still sitting at the bar and she downed her drink and turned around with a grin. He felt his heart flutter in anticipation when he saw the look of a plan in her eyes as she walked over to the tiny stage and met his gaze so he could sing directly to her. 

He almost laughed in delight when she started to dance. Fully dance, headbanging and all with her hair flying every which way. She sang along to a few lyrics and casually unzipped her jacket while she danced and turned around grinning. 

When he saw her Eddie was a little star struck, seeing her six inches from the stage, dancing and singing along to an original song like she was their biggest fan in a packed stadium, and she was wearing his Corroded Coffin shirt that he hadn't been able to find this morning. 

She danced like that for the whole gig, alternating between losing herself and closing her eyes and making hard eye contact while they grinned at each other. 

For the first time since he began to play at the hideaway he saw one of the regulars start to Bob their head and shimmy their shoulders and pretty soon everybody in the bar was joining in on singing a classic with him.

He had never felt like more of a rock star. This time when they bowed off the stage everybody applauded, earning a few standing ovations. It was a bartender, four people on the verge of blacking out, and the love of his life and he felt like he was playing Madison Square garden. It could've just been her and he would've felt it. 

When he stepped off the stage she launched herself at him in a kiss that he returned with passion he wasn't sure he had ever actually felt so strongly before.

He couldn't even speak afterwards, just gaze at her goofilly until he ran into an amp while walking backwards. He gave her a one minute hand and helped the boys pack the equipment back in the van. 

When he came back he saw her sitting at the bar and running her finger around the rim of a vodka soda. He leaned on the bar next to her and eyed her up and down in his t-shirt and grinned. 

"Enjoy the show?" He asked too casually, and saw a smile play on her lips as she glanced at him. 

"As a matter of fact I did. I'm a pretty big fan." She said coyly.

"Yeah, I think I've seen you in the crowd before. Are you following us on tour?" He asked with a smile, and she looked at him with her big dark eyes under her thick lashes.

"Mmhmm. Can I let you in on a little secret though?" She asked, and leaned in conspiratorially. "Don't get me wrong- I love the band, but the reason I keep coming back is because I really want to sleep with the guitarist."

He grinned and tried to look thoughtful. "Ah, I see. Fans do say that he's the hot one."

"I know they do, that's why I need to get to him first." 

"But he's got this girlfriend, y'know? And like…the guitarist might be hot- he's got nothing on this girl. Total smoke show. Supermodel hot. And cool and funny and smart and brave-" He said, listing off compliments like it was nothing and watched her smile grow.

"That's too bad. I was really looking forward to going back to his place. I was kinda hoping that I'd look so good in this shirt he made himself that he'd want to take it off of me." 

"Yeah, too bad he's gonna miss out…guess you're just stuck with me then." He said, and her eyes narrowed and looked to her left in confusion. 

"Wait, I'm lost- are you not the guitarist in this scenario?"

"I was at first but then I couldn't figure out how to actually hit on you without making it seem like imaginary cheating." 

"Well, let's just consolidate it. I can be a girlfriend and a groupie." She said, the act gone and fully facing him. It was weird to be looked at with such devotion that it still caught him off guard sometimes. 

"Either way I feel like a damn rock star. I mean it- this show was…" he trailed off, unable to even explain how happy he felt in that moment, but the pride in her eyes told him she knew.

"Then let's get you home, rock star. I've always wanted to hook up with a guy at his concert." She stood up and put her arms around his neck.

"Lucky you, I think you'll get that chance…pretty much whenever you want." He offered, and she finally closed the gap to kiss him. He drew back and grinned at her, putting his arm around her and leading her out the door with an affectionate kiss on her head, and his finger hooked on the collar of her t-shirt.

[dahliavr]

Stevie remembered telling her parents 'I'm fine, I promise' throughout her teenage years, except the words were only used when she was trying to convince them of a false truth in an attempt to not worry them. But just like her parents had for her, Stevie wasn't going to push Dakota to tell her anything more than she'd been willing to share. Instead, she just gave the younger woman a gentle squeeze and a warm smile. "Well, if you promise." She mused, ruffling Kota's hair affectionately.

Was she surprised that there were three new notebooks in Kota's backpack? Absolutely not, with the way the other woman wrote down ideas she was more surprised that the three extra notebooks were new and not full already. "After? Is that because you've poisoned this..." Watching with a raised eyebrow as Dakota pulled the drink from the fridge, Stevie, despite her playful question, swiftly picking up the cup and taking a sip. And then another. She stayed quiet for a moment, her smile slowly creeping up on her lips. "Kota, hon, this is delicious. I'd say maybe a little more chocolate and a little less mint but it'll be perfect for a St. Patrick's Day roll out."

Taking another sip from the new drink, Stevie began to move about around the front of house counter, getting it set up for the day as she simultaneously began to brew a new pot of blonde roast coffee- her favorite as of late. She watched Dakota and Mocha from her spot, smile on her features as the cat pretended to ignore Kota for a moment before succumbing to her favorite treats.

"Oh, hey by the way." She poured them each a cup of coffee, adding a little bit of sugar to her own mug and making Dakota's just how she knew the other woman liked it. "Cherry put in her two weeks notice yesterday. She wouldn't tell me why but it felt... weird. I don't wanna push her, though. She say anythin' to you?" ( @dakotaheise )

"Mm, it's early. Maybe over-confident." She'd admit it, she was always a little over-confident. Better over-confident than not confident enough...or something like that. She'll remember or bother to look it up when it wasn't some odd-Godly hour of the morning. "Yes, I'm fine. I promise." Fine-ish. It was early she could push it off on exhaustion. Her brain was all over, Kota wasn't entirely sure if it was just fine or if at the moment, more than fine. She slung an arm around Stevie's waist. "I know, and I appreciate it." It was honestly what made Stevie her favorite boss; not just because she could get away with things like..well breaking in and embezzlement early in the morning but also because she knew there was an open door if she needed it. She'd be sure to use it, once she figured out her own emotions.

She grinned.

"There are three new ones in my backpack already waiting. It is, call them after...you taste this."

She scooted back behind the counter, grabbing the drink she'd been working on earlier from the fridge underneath. "I'm still kinda eh on it, fine tuning, but I figured mint and chocolate work right. St. Patrick's Day is coming, green, all that jazz." She shook the treat container, chuckling as Mocha popped her head around a corner. "C'mere you. I'm sorry." she gave Stevie a nod. "Yes please." Leaving her to behind the counter, the blonde went to go scoop up the cat and settle in the corner. "Yeah yeah, here, Mo. I'm sorry I gave you a heart attack."

[professorrw]

Don't Fake It

marvel masterlist

Pairing: female reader x Peter Quill

Request: peter starts getting frisky with the reader but shes tired and isn’t really in the mood. He would never pressure her or anything but she wants to make him happy and feels bad saying no, so she does it and fakes her orgasm just to get it over with. Later, he somehow finds out (or knew all along, you decide) that she faked it and of course his ego is bruised and he’s kinda annoyed, but also feels guilty she didn’t tell him how she felt. So the next night, she starts coming onto him and he makes damn sure she never fakes it again. Then after, she apologizes for faking it and it gets kinda fluffy because hes like “hey, its not good for me if you’re not having as much fun as I am. I have a right hand if i’m that desperate.”

Warnings: smut, 18+, fluff, faking an orgasm, protected sex, rough sex

A/N: Requests open, taglist open, inbox open! Please like, comment, and reblog!

Sleep was calling your name, digging its claws into you and dragging you into the dark depths of slumber. But there was something stopping it. That thing was Peter. He was wide awake and his sex drive was in full throttle. You weren’t feeling up to it though. The long day at work had taken a toll on you, and the only thing you wanted to do was go to sleep.

You loved Peter, everything about him. You didn’t want to deny him sex, especially when he was being so sweet about it. Your back was to him so he could cuddle you while you slept, but he started to kiss your shoulders and the part of your back that was exposed by your tank top.

“Mmm what is it baby?” you asked groggily.

“I want you,” he replied unashamedly. You could feel Quill shifting his weight behind you. He was peering over your shoulder, trying to look at you. He had missed you all day and you were finally home. What he didn’t know was that you were tired, and not in the mood.

“Oh really?” you mumbled.

“Mhm, I missed you today.” You couldn’t see him but by his sweet tone of voice you could tell that he was sticking his bottom lip out and giving you puppy dog eyes. You smiled and turned around, cupping his face in your hands.

"You know you're adorable right?" you teased.

He smiled, "I know, that's why you can't resist all of this." He wiggled his eyebrows, making you laugh. He was just too cute. You didn't want to tell him no.

When you stopped laughing he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. The kiss quickly elevated, his hand snaking up your tight shirt and pressing heat against your lower abdomen. While your eyes were closed, sleep called your name once more, but you ignored it.

Peter pulled back for a minute and reached over to the night stand. He grabbed a condom and pulled his boxers down and put it on, tossing the wrapper back onto the table. He switched positions and crawled on top of you. His face drew closer and he kissed you while he pulled down your sweat shorts.

He got the lube too and squirted some on his covered dick and rubbed the leftovers around near your entrance. With dick in hand he guided his length into you, easing it in as to not hurt you. He let out a long sigh when he got to moving. At least he was feeling good, you thought. Peter was making you feel good too, but you were so tired that if it weren't for the movement you would have fallen asleep.

The pleasure wasn't building like it usually did. You wanted to cum, you wanted to show Peter that he was doing a good job. But you weren't feeling it, and you knew you weren't going to cum. You didn't want to hurt Peter's feelings so as he reached his peak speed and his head lolled back you moaned extra loud, "I'm gonna cum!"

"Me too," he groaned back. His hips pounded into you and his balls slapped against you as he came in his condom. You kept on moaning a little, acting like you had actually cum too.

Peter slowed then pulled out. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and went to the bathroom to clean up. He went to take his condom off and realized there was no cum on the outside of it. You said you had cum, but there wasn't anything other than lube on there. Quill didn't want to assume you had faked it, but he didn't want to ask right away either.

He threw the condom away and went back to your bedroom. You were already out cold, and when Peter saw he sighed and crawled into bed, completely dejected. He was embarrassed that he couldn’t make you cum, and a little annoyed that you wouldn’t just tell him. But he let those thoughts drift away so he could fall asleep.

The next morning you woke up early for work again. Peter was still asleep so you didn’t wake him and instead went about your morning routine. Three minutes before you needed to leave you wrote a little note on the refrigerator for him, “I hope you slept well hunny, I’ve already left for work by the time you wake up but I just wanted to say I love you and I’ll see you later <3”

About an hour later Quill rolled out of bed and dragged himself into the kitchen. He wasn’t a morning person by any means. The coffee machine beeped and he pushed himself off of the counter to pour himself a cup. He set his mug down on the counter and went to the refrigerator to get milk and creamer. Your note, which he noticed just then, made him stop mid pull. He shut the refrigerator and took the note off so he could get a better look at it. A tired smile spread on his face.

Then he remembered last night. It was odd that there wasn’t anything on his condom, and you didn’t get up to clean yourself off right after he did. Now that he thought about it, you went straight to sleep. How unusual. He pushed the thought aside and decided he would bring it up later. It wasn’t making him mad, but he was a little wounded that you had faked it, or if you even did fake it.

Lucky for you, work was slow and you got off early. On the way home you picked up lunch for you and Peter. It was in a way an apology for your tiredness last night and faking your orgasm, whether he knew about it or not.

Keys jingling together you unlock the door and step in with takeout in hand. “Quill I’m home!” you shout.

He power walks out of the bedroom and just about tackles you into a bear hug. You giggle and kiss his stubbled cheek. “I missed you,” you say into his ear.

“I missed you moooore,” he replies. “How was work?”

“Better than yesterday, I’ll tell you that. Plus I got off early, so that’s even better. I get to spend more time with you.” You kiss his cheek again and he smiles before setting you back down. The food gets set on the kitchen counter and you pull out the chinese you got. You hand Peter his usual order and take out your own.

There’s only the quiet sound of eating for a few minutes before Peter says something. “Y/N I need to ask you something.”

You look over at him. He rarely calls you by your first name. That means he’s being serious. “What is it?”

He wants to ask about your orgasm but you’re right in the middle of eating and he doesn’t want to interrupt you. He can just ask later, he thinks to himself. He thinks of something else to ask and quickly thinks of, “Can you pass me some soy sauce?”

You quirk an eyebrow at him but hand him a few packs and go back to eating.

Later that night, a few hours later, you were laying in bed doing nothing in particular. Thoughts of last night were filling both your heads. Peter was set on trying to ask you about it, and you were set on trying to make up for it.

The both of you were sitting up in bed and you set your phone down on your bedside table and leaned over. You set a hand on Peter’s bare chest and he instantly stopped what he was doing. His eyes shot to yours, a sly smile on your face. He could tell exactly what it was you wanted.

“Peter,” you whispered against his lips. Your mouth was an inch away from his and your eyes were drifting between his and his lips. He parted his mouth and leaned forward, capturing you before you could make a move. You were trying to take the lead, but he wasn’t letting you.

He overpowered you, flipping you around and putting you on your knees. His bulge was against your ass and he was rubbing circles against it. The intensity he was showing was like nothing before. Whatever it was that was riling him up you needed to find out. It would have to wait until later though, because your panties being dragged down your thighs was the only thing you could think of.

A condom and lube had already been taken out of the drawer, and Peter was putting them on. The room was silent other than the rustling of sheets and your heart hammering in your chest. Then there was the squirting of the lube and you knew it was about to come. The cold goo was smeared on your folds and slightly inside of them by Quill’s rough fingers.

His tip, covered by a condom, was right at your entrance in a second, and in just one more, it was inside you. Your whole body was pushed forward with the force that Peter was thrusting. You were moaning and panting, and he was smiling between his own groans. His goal was to make sure you never had to fake an orgasm again. And with the way things were going you wouldn’t need to.

“Oh- Oh my god!” The way he was slamming into you was so quick and hard the pressure inside of you was building like a balloon being blown up.

His hands were holding you and keeping you from falling over. If they weren’t you would have smacked into the headboard. You couldn’t stay on your hands any longer, you dropped to your elbows, back making a beautiful arch for Quill.

The unbearable speed was tiring Quill out, but it was also making his orgasm come even quicker. He grabbed your shoulders, giving himself even more leverage to thrust with.

Your knees were trembling, jelly below you. But you wouldn’t have to hold that position for much longer. That balloon inside you popped like too much air had been blown into it. Your walls clenched around Peter’s cock, and the cum he was searching for yesterday covered his condom. He kept his pace, legs killing him and pelvis hitting your ass.

He let out a loud groan, and cum leaked and squirted from his tip. He let go of your shoulders, seeing a red handprint there. He pulled out of you, your cum dribbling out when he did. He smiled, satisfied that he had done what he set out to do.

Your lower half ached and you all but collapsed onto your pillows. You flipped over and saw Peter above you, buttcheeks against the heels of his feet and catching his breath. You laughed just a little and he opened his eyes.

“What?” he asked.

“That was something else,” you admitted with a smile.

“Good.” He crawled onto his stomach and laid next to you with his head on his arms. You scooted over closer to him, laying on your back with your hands set on your stomach.

“Y/N,” he sat up, “last night,” he started.

“I already know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry. I should have told you. I was just super tired last night and I didn’t want to deny you.” You looked down at your stomach but Peter turned your face back to his with his thumb.

“It’s okay, really. I’m sorry I didn’t catch that you weren’t in the mood. If you ever don’t want to do stuff just tell me okay? I won’t be upset. Besides, it’s not good for me if you aren’t having as much fun as I am. I have a right hand if I get that desperate.” He waved his right hand and grinned.

You giggled, “I promise I won’t do it again.”

[rafescoke]

Older ; Rafe Cameron (Part 2)

masterlist

#Part 2

#Part 1

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Maybe falling in love with a Maybank wouldn’t be too bad.

Warnings: Smut! (Reader is 17, Rafe is 19), substance, swearing, reader being an asshole

A/N: I do not condone doing any sexual activities if you’re underage and everything that I wrote are solely for entertainment purposes. Take care of yourself always <33

p.s; send requests!

“What the fuck!”

“Good, you’re awake,” Rafe groaned, rubbing his eyes with his palm against the bright sunlight. He sat up straight, trying to regain his bearings and sighed.

“I can’t remember anything.”

“You can, you just choose not to,” Rafe replied, walking towards the bathroom. He felt the morning breeze nipping at his skin from the open window, and blamed it on the uncertain weather of Obx. Last night, he would’ve stripped naked if it wasn’t for the girl sleeping right next to him.

“Oh my god, where are we?”

“A hotel,” he mumbled from the bathroom, leaning onto the sink before reaching for the toothbrush. “We didn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I’m not thinking about that,” she grunted, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Do you have a phone?”

She grabbed for the red phone by the bedside table when he muttered the answer, dialling her brother’s phone number with trembling fingers. She sucked in a breath, waiting impatiently.

“Hello?”

“JJ! I-”

“Save it. I heard everything. Are you really that fucking stupid, (Y/N)? Rafe fucking Cameron?”

“What?” She sat up straighter, her hair falling down to her shoulders. Rafe watched her from the mirror, his eyebrows raised and his eyes worried.

“Don’t play dumb with me, fuck,” he groaned, “Come back home now, or I won’t talk to you ever again.”

“JJ-”

She sighed when JJ hit the end call, throwing the phone onto the bed exasperatedly. She understood why he was acting berserk at the thought of her and Rafe, but why would he even made this into a huge issue?

“You okay?” Rafe asked, wiping his lips with the towel. “Is it the brother?”

“Yes, it’s the brother, and he wants me home,” she grunted, pulling the covers off of her and standing up. She stumbled backwards, still feeling so light, but put her hand up when Rafe tried to help her. “Can you order an Uber for me? Please? I lost my phone.”

Rafe scoffed, putting the discarded shirt on the floor over him, “Don’t be stupid. Let me drive you home.”

“He’s gonna kill you,” she sighed, biting her lips. Rafe had to look away, pushing away all unwanted thoughts.

“Let him,” he mumbled, grabbing his car keys by the television and fixing his hair without even looking at the mirror. He huffed, thinking it must’ve been better, and waited for her by the door.

“Oh god, I look like we fucked,” she groaned, putting her head down as they walked quickly to the car. Rafe laughed, watching her beside him, and shrugged. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes, it’s a bad thing,” she widened her eyes, and waited for him to unlock the car. “We’re not the same, Rafe.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t care about the whole kook and pogues thing,” he asked, half-amused. He watched as she entered the car, not saying anything. He placed a hand on her lap, and watched as she grunted again.

“Don’t.”

“You were begging for it yesterday,” he smiled, igniting the engine before focusing on the rearview mirror. “Rafe! Please, just touch-”

“I did not say that.”

“You did,” he nodded, and laughed again. “Not exactly. But you did wanted me to fuck you.”

“That’s not me, that’s the alcohol.”

“Oh, does daddy know you drink?”

She stiffened, and Rafe cursed silently at the sight of her frown. He completely forgot how she had confessed to him yesterday, and took a glance at her before sighing.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean it like that.”

“Like what? What are you sorry for?”

“(Y/N), I forgot that-”

“I didn’t say shit to you, Rafe. Can you please shut up and just bring me home?” She yelled, her eyes flaring in anger and her chest heaving. Rafe stayed shut for a second, being caught off guard for just wanting to console her, but he decided to let the calm side of him took over.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

The drive to the outskirts of The Cut was silent, and Rafe didn’t even bother to turn on the radio. He stopped at the gas station and asked her if she wanted anything, but she stayed silent as ever and looking out of the window at a random bald guy pumping his car.

“Fuck, you’re impossible,” he grunted when he entered the car again, placing a chocolate milk on her lap. She jerked at the cold temperature of the bottle, and gave him a glare.

Rafe couldn’t deny the sudden tug on his heart when he turned into the corner to the small house located at the end of the road, biting his lips and constantly glancing at the girl. He wasn’t scared of JJ, but he was dwelling on the possibility of Luke Maybank hitting (Y/N). He wished he could be with her, but even a crazy man would say that’s beyond impossible.

“Give me a call if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” she muttered, stepping out of the vehicle before flinging the door shut. Rafe grunted at his door shutting roughly against his car, and wondered why girls would even do that when they’re mad.

He watched as the door opened to a furious JJ, his eyes bloodshot red and his hair frenzy. (Y/N) said something to him, and Rafe read the lines of ‘I don’t want to hear it’ and ‘not bringing you to a party anymore’ from his mouth, and before he could read anything else, JJ’s eyes met his.

“Yo, is there a problem, Cameron?” JJ yelled from his front porch, flailing his arms as he walked towards the car. Rafe cursed, fumbling with his break, all while listening to (Y/N) trying to hold her brother off.

He sped away, glancing at the rearview mirror as the small house became even smaller, and let out a tired sigh.

It must be fair, he guessed, for JJ to act like that with him. Rafe went absolutely crazy when he found out that Sarah was with John B, constantly thinking about how he wouldn’t treat her as good as anyone else. JJ must’ve been thinking the same way, but Rafe didn’t know how he could convince JJ that he would never hurt her in any way possible. He shook his head at the thought, thinking how they wouldn’t even be a thing, not when the only proper communication they could have is when she’s drunk.

The next few days were a blur to him. Everytime he went down to the restaurant to catch a glimpse of her, even the tiniest look, she would return back to the kitchen and a different server would come and serve him.

It was like she was trying to ignore him, and Rafe knew something happened. She didn’t have the usual glow with her, that smile she’ll put when she’s talking to the bratty customers, and she was even yelled at by the manager in front of everyone, to which she yelled something back before yelling ‘I quit!’ and running towards the exit.

Rafe wanted to run after her, but knew he would annoy her even more. The good thing from that was he wouldn’t have to spend more money eating the tasteless food now, but he didn’t know where to look for her anymore.

It had been 2 weeks now, and Rafe still hasn't seen her since the day in the restaurant.

“God, you’re fucking hooked.”

“No, I’m not,” Rafe shook his head, attempting to drink the cold drink to ignore his friend. Topper rolled his eyes, patting his back before sighing.

“And she’s a minor, too.”

“It’s just 17,” Rafe shrugged, “And I’m still 18. Technically.”

“19 next month,” Topper reminded him, “There’s a long list of girls who would die for you and you’re after a pogue?”

“Don’t say that,” he groaned, pushing the glass further from the edge of the table. “And I don’t like her. I just think about her.”

“Whatever,” he shook his head, “But tell you what. There’s a party tonight, and it’s going to be huge.”

“Not interested,” Rafe mumbled, thinking of a peaceful night of sleeping instead of out partying. He didn’t feel like meeting Dee too, who had been trying to contact him since the day of the bonfire night.

“Come on,” Topper groaned, “It’s only for a few hours. A few hours to let loose.”

“I’ll think about it,” he lied, wanting to end this conversation already. He didn’t feel like drinking or snorting anything, and he wasn’t even sure why. All his teenage years, Rafe had been a party animal, always there at every party in Obx and just enjoying his life.

He didn’t feel like that Rafe Cameron anymore.

“Maybe (Y/N) would be there.”

His head perked up, “No, she won’t.”

“She will,” Topper shrugged, “Everyone’s going to be there. Are you not desperate to see her or something?”

Rafe thought about the possibility of this, and even if she’s not at the party, he was sure he could find her friends and ask them about her.

He sighed, “Fine.”

“I’ll pick you up at 9. Relax, man. You look like your fucking father.”

Rafe laughed with Topper at that statement, his heart set on one thing; (Y/N).

. . .

The loud music thrummed against his eardrums as he tried to cloud his mind, his head already ringing from the amount of drinks he had tonight.

Topper and Kelce had told him that he was too worried about the uncertainties, and he had dwelled so much on that statement that he decided to down so many drinks one after another.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Topper mumbled to Kelce, watching as Rafe situated himself on the sofa, head back, grunting slightly. “But whatever works, I guess. He’s fucking hooked, I swear.”

“Fuck, is that (Y/N)?”

Topper widened his eyes at the sight of the younger girl with Carter entering the party, his arms around her shoulder as he greeted his friends. He thought about amazing she looked, and how he understood Rafe now, but he didn’t know she would come here with a plus one.

He couldn’t let Rafe see this.

“You wanna go back home?” He laughed awkwardly, placing himself beside Rafe and glancing at a giggling (Y/N) with Carter. He looked at Rafe nervously, and cleared his throat. “I’m tired, man. We should go home.”

“Nah, I’m okay,” Rafe replied, feeling his body relaxing. “You’re right, man. All I need is a party.”

“Ha-ha, yeah, now all you need is your bed.”

“What the fuck?” Rafe laughed, turning sideways to look at the state of Topper. He laughed again, “What’s wrong with you? Is Sarah here or something?”

He looked around, his mind woozing, and what greeted him felt like a smack across his face.

(Y/N) Maybank and fucking Carter.

“Oh, fuck,” Topper said to no one in particular, and grabbed Rafe’s hand before he could stand up. “Chill, man. They’re just talking.”

“He tried to touch her,” Rafe mumbled, his eyes flaring up. Why would (Y/N) even allow herself to be in the same room as that stupid boy? She ignored him for 2 weeks, and now this?

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Topper warned, knowing that this would bound to happen. He didn’t know it would be this quick, though.

“Is killing him stupid?”

“Jesus, Rafe, just don’t do anything, okay? If he tries to touch her again and she looks uncomfortable, then do-”

Rafe stood up before Topper could finish his sentence, walking to the pair with a frown settled on his face.

“Cameron,” Carter greeted, a smirk tugging on his lips as he pulled (Y/N) closer. “What’s the deal?”

“What are you doing?” Rafe hissed, looking straight at (Y/N) as she tried to look away. He turned to Carter again, “The bruise looks a little bit dull. Want me to colour it for you?”

Carter stepped up, to which (Y/N) quickly placed her hand against his chest, rolling her eyes. “Stop it. Carter, let’s just go.”

“Are you serious?”

“Rafe, just go,” she threw him a look before parting away with a smirking Carter, to which he groaned and cursed angrily.

“I need a drink,” he said to Topper, and Topper hesitated before handing him his glass. He watched him downed the remaining content of the glass, placing the bottle next to him before throwing his head back again. He tried to say something, but was halted when he saw Dee walking towards them.

“Hey, Rafe.”

Rafe looked up to her brown eyes and sighed, “What do you want?”

“Do you wanna talk? Like somewhere?”

“We can talk here.”

“I mean like privately.”

A sudden thought occurred to Rafe, and he formed a sly smile; if she could do this to him, he could do it back.

When (Y/N) tried to pull away from Carter, saying she needed the bathroom, she had come across a drunk Rafe flirting mindlessly with the same girl who had asked her to reheat her pasta. She watched from the corner, feeling some kind of an emotion in her, and went back to Carter, who was in the mid of a conversation with his boring friends.

“I need you.”

“Now?” Carter glanced at her, “We just arrived.”

“I need you,” she pulled him again, to which he quickly bid his goodbyes to his friends and following her to the extra rooms upstairs.

It was like a reflex; Rafe saw her pulling that obnoxious guy upstairs, and he didn’t think twice before going after her, leaving Dee alone again, all stressed out.

He felt a wave of anger as she laughed at something he said, his hands balling into a fist. Carter tried to kiss her, to which she flinched quickly that his lips had connected with her cheeks instead, and watched as she giggled.

“I can fuck you right here and right now,” Carter sighed, still so absorbed into the moment and the thought of touching her. (Y/N) laughed, pinning him against the wall, and whispered into his ear.

“In a few minutes.”

Rafe watched as he laughed, his hands around her waist now, and all he felt at the moment was to punch the shit out of that pogue for touching her.

“I need the toilet,” she held a finger up, and placed a soft kiss against Carter’s cheeks as he groaned, muttering a ‘in a minute’ before fleeing to the far end of the floor. Rafe glanced at Carter before walking towards the bathroom, his heart hammering against his chest.

“You’re satisfied now?”

(Y/N) looked up from the sink to the mirror, watching Rafe’s reflection before sighing. Her heart soared, and she felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach at the sight of the angry boy. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I really don’t understand you,” Rafe said, walking closer towards her. “Why are you back with that guy?”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, turning to look at him, to which he slowly filled the gap in between them. She gulped at him being too close to her, and she could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

“I can do whatever I want, Cameron.”

“So ignoring me for 2 weeks and making me jealous is your plan all along?”

“There’s no plan, and you know it,” she scoffed, and tried to push him away. She yelped when he tightened his fingers around her arms, keeping her in place.

She wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

“Is this your payback for me not fucking you?” He whispered, his eyes glancing down to his lips, and he thought about biting the pink lips and fucking her until the next morning. “Huh? Is that what you’re mad about?”

“Fuck off, Rafe,” she sighed, “I’m a minor, remember? Isn’t your reason as to you’re not fucking me is because I’m a minor?”

“Oh, I see it now,” he laughed, tilting his head backwards before inching closer to her lips. He could feel her temperature rising, and couldn’t push the amusement in his body for getting her all worked up. “It is because I don’t fuck you. Do you feel rejected?”

“Fuck off,” she said, trying to push him again, but to no avail. She hated how turned on she was in that moment, and wished she had had her priorities straight.

“Do you want me to fuck you now?” He asked slowly, his lips grazing against her cheeks. She held her breath, and watched as he laughed. “Now you won’t speak?”

“Rafe, I-”

“Do you want me to fuck you now?” He repeated, his breath heavy. He looked down to her lips again, noticing her biting it, and cursed silently. “Answer me.”

“Yes.”

“Huh? I can’t hear you.”

“God, yes, yes,” she placed her forehead against his, and she could feel her core begging to be touched. She pushed her thighs together, finding some kind of friction for release.

Rafe trailed his fingers down to under her skirt, his mouth slightly apart and his breathing heavy as he watched her squirm, her eyes closed.

He bit her lips, “Open your eyes. Look at me.”

She opened her eyes, watching him intently as his fingers slipped into her panties, teasing her entrance and sending her in an euphoric state. She moaned lightly, and tugged on his wrist before he could continue.

“We’re still in the bathroom,” she said, her thighs trembling for his touch.

“I’ll fuck you in the living room if I have to,” he grunted, and before she could say anything, he turned her over so she could stare at herself in the big mirror.

She bit her lips, hearing him unbuckling his belt and positioning himself before her. She never imagined it to be like this; but she was sure anyways. She never wanted anyone so bad as much as Rafe.

“Faster.”

“Patience,” he groaned, and looked at her through the mirror. He licked his teeth, “Beg for it.”

“Fucking hell, no,” she rolled her eyes, to which he quickly grabbed her face and forced her to look at him through the mirror again.

“I said beg for it.”

“Please,” she whispered, and pushed herself against him, to which he grunted at the sudden touch. He grabbed her waist, pulling her close, and slowly slid himself into her.

He watched as she closed her eyes as he pounded into her, holding his hand against her mouth to shut her moans. He grunted again, telling her to open her eyes, and she obliged quickly.

“Oh my god,” she moaned against his hand, feeling so good that she didn’t ever want to let go.

“Wrong name,” he muttered, trailing his hands down to her neck now, and watched as she clenched around him, sending him to complete stars.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” he expressed, feeling himself getting sloppier, and his hands dropped to the sink to stabilize himself. Her moans were getting louder now, and he didn’t care, because all of his wet dreams before were coming to life.

“I’m close,” she stuttered, feeling all of him inside her now, and she swore no one had done it the way he did. Her hands grabbed onto his, feeling so close now, and screamed as she released herself.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pulling himself out and turning away from her, feeling all kinds of shocks as he came, his chest heaving and his forehead clammy.

Before he could guess their next move, (Y/N) pushed him against the wall, lowering down to her knees and gazing up at him from her position.

Rafe groaned, feeling himself getting hard at just her look, and bit his lips. “Still so sensitive.”

“So?”

“Oh my god,” he grunted, gripping onto her hair as she wrapped her lips around him, bobbing her head and Rafe had a sudden thought of how amazing she was. He felt the familiar feeling approaching again, and grunted again.

“You’re so good, baby.”

She hummed, sending vibrations throughout his whole body causing him to jerk forward, piling her hair up into a ponytail and helping her hit all of the spots to reach his end. He could feel her teeth grazing him, and he could’ve sworn he felt his heartbeat stopped.

“Fuck. You’re killing me,” he expressed, feeling so close now, and before she could prepare herself, the hot load hit the back of her throat, and she giggled as he pulled himself away.

“Holy fuck, you’re amazing.”

She showed him her tongue, all coated with his seed, and Rafe felt like kissing her and marking her as his forever. He didn’t ever want to let her go, now when she was like a precious gem to him.

She swallowed his load slowly, gazing at him with those eyes again, and Rafe had to turn away to stop himself from getting hard again. He placed a soft kiss against her cheek, pulling his jeans up and helping her dress down.

“We should do that again.”

“Oh, we will,” he smiled, turning the faucet open to wash his hands. He waited for (Y/N)’s turn and turned the faucet off before opening the door.

(Y/N) walked past him into the public, and before he could think of anything else he pulled her against his chest again.

“What?”

“We still haven’t kissed,” he said, and watched as she blushed heavily. “Do you wanna kiss?”

“I don’t kiss older guys,” she huffed, her mouth forming into a smile. “Wait until I’m 18.”

“Are you serious?”

She laughed, pulling herself away from him, “I’ll think about it.”

“You know where to find me, Maybank.”

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21

[miyuwuki]

Can I request Kise showing his real side to his s/o, you know the one he has when playing basketball the darker character, and his s/o loves him regardless? Tsym!

hello love! this lovely meant akashi instead of kise! thank you so much for this request, this is a very wholesome idea

warnings: slight angst but happy ending!

akashi seijuro x reader

i will always love you

you were so confused. akashi hadn’t picked you up in the morning, or steal you from your friends so you can have lunch with him, or let alone speak to you. in fact, he was completely avoiding you today, and even going the extra lengths of putting a hand up when you tried to approach him. you were sure you didn’t do anything wrong as you spent the entire day deciphering your actions and words, and what could have possibly made him upset; just yesterday, the both of you had a study date and dinner together, and it ended off on a good note. what’s with him today? we had a good time last night.. you thought, grumbling under your breath. the anxiety you felt was slowly getting replaced with anger, and soon enough, you felt like punching that prince of a boyfriend of yours.

and so you made a plan; a plan that after school, you’d walk into the student council office and give him a piece of your damn mind. maybe you would have let it slide if there was at least an explanation for his behaviour, but there wasn’t, and you weren’t going to let his ignorance win- especially when it was towards you.

the bell soon rang for dismissal, and eventually rakuzan was empty. you packed your things and stomped as quickly as you can to the student council office. through the door you saw your boyfriend working on a pile of paperwork. your eyebrows furrowed and marched into the office.

“seijuro! we need to talk!” you dropped your bags and crossed your arms across your chest, waiting for a response.

“i’m busy.” akashi replied, not even looking up from the papers he was signing. a vein popped in the corner of your head, impatient from all the bullshit he was giving you today. you scoffed, “i don’t care! you’ve been avoiding me the whole day! you didn’t tell me why; you left me hanging in the morning, then at lunch, and literally every time i tried to approach you! what’s gotten into you? did i say something wrong to you yesterday? i tried to figure out if i did, but i don’t really recall anything of that sort. at least explain yourself-”

“you should leave me, y/n.”

you stopped talking and your arms fell to your sides. leave him? as in break up with him? 

“s-seijuro, i just asked for an explanation-”

your words were interrupted by him walking up to you. you didn’t know what you were feeling; if it was fear, or if it was anger. you couldn’t tell, and all you knew was that it felt like there was a giant pit in your gut.

“sei?” 

that’s when you saw it; the way his eyes glowed. how one was red, and the other was a bright glowing orange.

“leave, y/n. i’m not good for you.” akashi said, looking straight into your eyes. you clenched your jaw, taking a breath in, “what are you talking about sei? i have one problem and you want me to leave? we can sort this out if you just explain why. why are you being like this?” you said with confidence as you fold your arms across your chest once more.

“did i stutter, y/n? i said i’m not good enough for you. you need to be with someone who will provide you care with pure selflessness and content. this is something i cannot give you. my orders remain absolute, so leave me.” he clamoured, feeling an ache in his chest.

tears started to form in the ducts of your eyes, and you clenched your fists in your chest. your head was clouded, and your body was growing weak. you weren’t going to back down like this; you didn’t want to give up. “who are you to tell me of who and what makes me happy, sei?” you mumbled, wiping your tears. you lifted your head up and looked straight into his heterochromatic eyes, “who are you to decide that for me, asshole! i love you, and only you, can’t you see that?” you raised your voice a little higher, bewildering akashi a bit.

“but i’m right, and this is just how it is-”

“to hell if you’re right! when i got into this relationship, i knew about your other personality already, but i still wanted to deal with it because that’s just how much i fucking love you!” you sniffled and cried, not even attempting to stop yourself, “you could commit crime or accidentally miss your shot, i don’t care! you’re always going to be the same seijuro i fell in love with. nothing and no one will ever change that.” you didn’t know what to do after that, so you just wailed; the student council office was filled with the sounds of your cries and sobs. after all, you didn’t expect him to react the way he did today. you didn’t expect him to tell you to leave, or hear the words “i’m not good enough for you” coming out from his mouth. you just wanted to be with him. all you wanted was him.

but something you didn’t expect even more were akashi’s tears slowly flowing from his eyes; not too much, but not too little that it was unnoticeable. he slowly walked closer to you and wrapped his arms around your torso, resting his face in your shoulder. 

“seijuro...” you wrapped your arms around his neck, breathing in that masculine scent you loved.

“do you mean that, y/n?” he whispered, “do you love me that much? even with...”

you sighed, “of course i do, sei. i will always love every single part of you.” you felt his grip tighten on you, feeling the sighs against the crook of your neck. you rubbed his back in a circular motion, trying to comfort your boyfriend. “now sei, why were like that today? can you tell me why? please?”

he let go of your embrace and looked into your eyes once more, the glowing eye reflecting off the glassy surface of your own. you held akashi’s cheek in your hand, and he immediately leaned into your touch. “i didn’t know what i’d do if you ever saw this side of me. to be honest, i was quite petrified if you were to leave because of it; i kept overthinking it so i thought making you leave would make it hurt less. i was wrong.”

you took your hand off of akashi’s check and grabbed both of his hands, bringing the up. “sei, have a little more trust in me. i meant it when i said i will always love every part of you. this akashi, the other one, and every single one after that.” you gave a soft peck to each of his hands, “i’m not going anywhere, just know that. you’re stuck with me forever.”

a minuscule smile formed on his face as he leaned in closer and planted a soft kiss on your lips. you felt the mixed breaths against your mouth, both of you inhaling it. he grabbed your waist once more to give you a much deeper kiss, both your lips dancing in sync, as if it had a mind of its own. he pulled apart from you and placed another kiss on top of your head.

“i love you, y/n. i’m so sorry for the way i treated you today. i promise i will make it up to you, love. thank you for accepting me always.”

“i love you too, seijuro. next time, don’t go neglecting me, and i don’t care if you think if you’re right or whatever. we always talk about it, okay? besides, there’s no one else i want but you, dork.”

“yes, my love.”

aaaa i hope this was good enough for you! mmmm although akashi is literally perfect, i felt like he would get insecure about his other personality— so that’s how i wrote it! please give me some feedback if you’d like. once again thank you <3

[aminiatureworld]

Interest II

Characters: Kaeya, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 3,020

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: Sometimes emotions can be confusing. In those times it can be easier to shut down. After all, wouldn’t finding the truth out be scarier?

In which the reader assumes their character is disinterested, and pulls away.

Author’s Note: I wrote a lot tonight! It was nice to write for multiple characters again, made me feel like the good old days, or something. 

Hope I’m finally getting back on schedule and hope you enjoy!

Kaeya

If Kaeya flirted with you, he also flirted with all of Mondstadt; or so you kept telling yourself.

You liked the cavalry captain, you liked him a lot. It was easy to like him, as easy as breathing air. The thickets of romance, the awkward looks, the stilted conversations, the dying words. None of those things existed in Kaeya.

If there were roses there were thorns too, and though you tried to convince yourself that this emotion, this easiness was something good, there was a part of you that fought back at the idea. The reason things were so easy with Kaeya was because of one simple reason. He didn’t like you. Or not the way you liked him. Kaeya flirted with all of Mondstadt after all, and you were merely one library assistant in the middle of an entire country. Your existence wasn’t one for the history books. Not compared to the man that you’d managed to fall hopelessly in love with anyways.

At first you tried to ignore those voices, that cynical side of yourself that existed only, it seemed, to make you unhappy. You weren’t necessarily an optimist by nature, but you were a bit of a hopeless romantic, and flirting or not you at least hoped to get your point across. Delivering Kaeya’s library requests first, always going up to him at lunchtime to talk, even giving him a special gift for the Windbloom festival. You really did try, you didn’t think that the opposite could be argued. Still things continued on as relatively normal however, Kaeya’s flirting never seeming to grow particularly towards you. Eventually it became harder and harder to avoid the voice in your head sneering you were wasting your time. Or maybe you were just tired.

Either way the answer seemed to be obvious. You knew when the answer was to count your losses and move on, and surely this was one of those times. Kaeya wasn’t going to see you as a partner, he just wasn’t. That didn’t mean he wasn’t kind, or that your conversations with him weren’t lovely, or even that you weren’t still in love with him. Still, wasn’t it time to move on to kinder winds? You wanted a clean break, wanted an end to your painful waiting; didn’t want to experience that clench in your heart when you watched Kaeya flirting with someone else as the point just drove further and further home. You wanted reprieve, and the only way to do that was to admit the obvious. This wasn’t going to happen.

So you gave up, or did your best attempt at giving up. You still spoke to Kaeya, the gods knew you probably couldn’t stand not speaking to him. You still tried to keep as light as before, tried to retain the dynamic, for something was better than nothing. Yet your days of simply chasing after him were over, and as you settled into you schedule of new normalcy you found, though things weren’t necessarily easier, at least they seemed simpler. Besides, how much had really changed? Kaeya most likely didn’t notice.

“Kaeya, the manuscript you requested on Liyue trade history came in yesterday. There were also a few other things that came in, though Lisa told me they’re classified.”

“Oh Lisa, always a stickler for rules. Would you like to know what I requested?”

“Like you would actually tell me,” you snorted. “No, I’m fine. It’s none of my business.”

“Aw,” Kaeya pouted slightly, crossing his arms in front of him. He seemed to be doing that more often these days, though maybe you were simply imagining it. “Where’s your sense of adventure darling? You seemed to have lost it somewhere.”

“I’m just following rules,” you pointed out.

Something had shifted about the conversation at some point, and you were suddenly feeling an undercurrent that hadn’t been there before. Finding it uncomfortable you quickly removed the space between you and Kaeya, reaching out to place the brown paper wrapped books into his hands. Taking them Kaeya lifted an eyebrow. Turning around he went to put them on his desk.

The momentary reprieve in atmosphere you felt quickly died, as before you had time to turn around the cavalry captain was back, this time leaning closely towards you.

“What is it?” You asked. This was certainly Kaeya behavior, but it still startled you nonetheless.

“You’re acting funny.”

“What? I’m acting completely normal.”

“If you say so.”

But the tone conveyed that Kaeya didn’t agree one bit. A smirk painting his lips he turned around, though something bitter seemed to flash behind his eyes, and for a moment you wondered if he had somehow caught on to the secret you’d been hoping to keep to yourself.

After that things seemed to continue on as normal for a few weeks. If Kaeya’s books were secretly transgressive, they certainly weren’t doing anything actively, and life as an assistant librarian to the Knights of Favonius retained its languid, unhurried pace. Still a part of you had never forgotten about that weird snippet of conversation, one which was doing a surprisingly good job at eating away at you.

You were almost relieved when Kaeya brought the matter up again.

“Is something wrong darling?”

“You asked me that two weeks ago Kaeya.”

“Really? It’s been that long? I must be neglecting my duties,” he let out a careless sort of laugh, before his eyes steadied. “I was hoping that this time I might get a more honest answer.”

“So you think I’m lying to you when I’m saying nothing’s wrong?”

“Yes.”

“But I’m not! How could I be lying to both you and myself.”

“I find that doing such a thing is a surprisingly easy task. Nevertheless, even if you aren’t lying, there is something wrong.”

“And what would that thing be, Mr. Expert?” For some reason this conversation was aggravating you. Maybe because you couldn’t decide whether or not he was right.

“I don’t know, I was hoping you could tell me. I can’t say sorry for something I’m not aware of, I don’t know what I did. You do though. So the sooner you tell me what’s wrong the sooner things can go back to normal.”

“What do you mean by normal Kaeya? If anything this is more normal. Not that things have changed that much. I’m sorry I don’t deliver your books first, if that’s what you’re complaining about. But frankly, I don’t see what you’re so upset about? You’ve got plenty of other friends, so why are you complaining to me?”

Maybe it wasn’t your best use of logic, but your ability to circle around the focus of the conversation, the unspoken emotions that still burned through you, was somewhat lacking.

“This is not normal. I’m not talking about library books, I’m talking about friends. Or maybe avoidance. You’ve been avoiding me lately, even if you aren’t doing it completely. It wounds me, you know. My dearest companion, what did I do to earn their ire?”

“You did nothing.”

“That’s obviously a lie.”

“It’s not.”

“It is,” Kaeya voice was clipped, matching your same tone. Even now he was shifting himself to better fit the atmosphere in the room, something you normally valued so deeply.

“It’s not. It’s really not! That’s the problem Kaeya, don’t you see?” Tears that had threated the corners of your eyes were now burning across your vision, as your emotions finally broke through the paltry excuse for a dam you’d been building. “You’ve done nothing, you’ve never done anything. You’re always nice, and flirty, and a bit shameless. And that’s fine! It’s not your fault that you don’t feel like I feel for you. I don’t want to make you feel guilty. You flirt with everyone, and that’s fine. I don’t care! I really don’t. I don’t want to burden you. Still, can’t you just let me feel upset by it? Can’t you just let me give up? Do you know how painful it is not to give up? Why won’t you let me at least do that, but no! Instead you come in here talking about how everything’s different, as if I’ve offended you, or as if you worry would change anything. Of course it won’t! And it shouldn’t! But damn it Kaeya, I just want to be upset!”

By this time Kaeya had closed the space between you two, wrapping his arms around you and running soft, slightly cool, fingers through your hair. You nestled into him, despite yourself. You were so tired and so angry, and right now it didn’t really seem to matter who you cried on as long as you were crying on someone. Letting yourself be carried away by your emotions you let your ragged breathing unleash itself inside the walls of Kaeya’s office.

Eventually you calmed down. Though you expected Kaeya to step away when your breathing evened out, instead he remained there, continuing to run comforting fingers though you hair, his other hand gently cradling your shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that was the reason.” It was simple, direct. Undeniably Kaeya.

“What else would be the reason,” you grumbled.

“I don’t know. It’s why I asked. Thank you for answering me.”

“You forced me into it.” There was no true venom behind your words. You were sure Kaeya knew that.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“No.”

“Not yet?”

You shook your head. “Not yet.”

“That’s alright. Now’s not the best time anyways, since I ought to look my best. Not that I don’t look amazing already, but I should dress up for an occasion such as that. Still, I hope that eventually you’ll allow yourself to live in a way that doesn’t make you unhappy. Sometimes we can’t do that. This time you can.”

“Maybe.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting for you darling, and you know how impatient I am.”

“What if you have to wait for a long time?” You were feeling quite contrary.

“Then I’ll wait. After all, I’ll have quite the reward for my patience.”

You smiled into Kaeya. Despite yourself, you knew it wouldn’t be that long.

 Xiao

With Xiao, the question was always boundaries. How far is too far? How far is not far enough? It was an endless maze, even if it was a maze you would gladly continue to explore, sure that the light at the end must lead to something truly beautiful. Still, you didn’t exactly need your emotions to come in and complicate something already so difficult to navigate.

At first you tired to ignore, to take a page from the book the yaksha you’d so hopelessly fallen for had written. Yet if was much harder than it ought to be, for loving Xiao seemed to come as naturally as breathing, and no amount of looking for faults seemed to be doing much to change that. After all, everyone has faults, and nothing could change the innate goodness you saw in Xiao, the wonder and light that he carried with him, despite his millennia of hardships.

At first you thought to tell him, to cross that border, find that boundary and test it with all the patience it had taken to test and cross those other boundaries.

“Xiao?”

“Mmm.”

“I, I have something to tell you.”

“What?”

“I, I made you some Almond Tofu!”

Xiao let his eyes widen with characteristic surprise, before leaping down nimbly from his perch to take the dish you brought out from behind your back. You watched as he ate it happily, warmth running through your veins. Nevertheless a part of you cried in frustration, perhaps even pain, for you knew you had failed to do what you had set out to do.

It wasn’t simply that you feared losing Xiao’s friendship, feared losing his respect. It was the boundaries, those invisible lines you were so careful not to step over. Xiao needed those boundaries, you knew he did. Though he had told you very little about his past, what he had told was horrific, and you hardly doubted that Xiao’s survival, his failure to spin into madness, was because of those walls he’d carefully constructed around himself. You wanted him to shed those walls yes, to slowly emerge from the darkness which he held around himself. But you weren’t ready to push him to do so, or not very much at least. It wasn’t truly in your nature to do so anyways.

So you expressed your feelings as best you could, with tofu and flowers and all the kindness you had to offer. When you weren’t working, spending your time sewing for a high-end Liyue shop, you were with Xiao. A part of you assumed that it would be enough, that if you gave Xiao enough of your time and enough of your attention the barriers would magically break down. One day you’d wake up and they’d be gone and you’d be happy, having never pushed things too far.

As nothing truly seemed to change however you grew slowly discouraged. You weren’t really aware of your flagging hopes, not really. It was more that you were busy, you were so busy. Besides, Xiao hadn’t expressed much sadness over losing your company. Perhaps he was secretly relieved, perhaps you had pushed too far at some point and he hadn’t told you. Maybe it was best that you give his boundaries time, and not push it too far.

Even looking back it was hard not to call the logic sound, or at least sound to you. In some ways you and Xiao were cut of the same cloth, and though that brought with it an understanding, it also brought its own set of issues. Neither of you were willing to walk over the line that the other drew, even if you could not see where they had actually drawn it. Even if not doing so was painful, the fear of what pain might come if you did was too great a discouragement.

So you began to slowly fade away, without being entirely aware that you were indeed doing so. You were busy after all, and Xioa was most likely too. He was still a yaksha after all, a being whose life was almost completely disconnected from your own. Surely it wouldn’t be that surprising if his views were similar? Maybe you truly had crossed a line, and that was why he never seemed to enquire after you. Or maybe it was that you hadn’t mattered all that much in the first place.

It was a wet, cold autumn day. You sighed slightly as you unlocked your door, having gotten drenched by protecting a bold of fabric you were bringing home to cut and pin. Letting out a huff, you opened the door and went to take a nap. You must’ve been tired, for it took a few seconds for the screech of surprise to leave you mouth at the sight of the unexpected intruder waiting for you.

“Xiao! You scared me!”

You stared at the yaksha, very much surprised by the sight of him. Your surprise had very little time to register though, being quickly replaced by concern for the storm so clearly gathering in Xiao’s eyes.

“You were gone for so long.”

“I’m sorry Xiao. It’s just been so busy you know, everyone’s preparing for the change in season. Besides…”

“Besides?”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I mean, I know you also have a job, and though I want you to find happiness outside of it, I don’t want to pressure you.”

Xiao’s facial expressions evidently conveyed that he was not impressed. Searching for the right words you let your gaze drift towards the floor. You weren’t sure that you were ever going to be ready for a conversation like this, but certainly not in the state you were now. Still, you owed Xiao some sort of explanation. Of course you did.

“I’m really sorry Xiao. I should have found time for you. It’s completely my fault.”

“That’s not what I want.” Xiao’s tone was gruff, frustrated. You found the frustration mirrored within yourself.

“What do you want?”

“I,” Xiao flushed. “I don’t want you to apologize. I’m not blaming you for anything. You shouldn’t apologize for nothing.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

Xiao shook his head. For a moment he just stood there, eyes stormy. Slowly though he reached out to take your hand. You found the act surprisingly comforting. You had missed Xiao’s hands, delicately built, calloused beyond believe. They felt comforting and warm and safe, and you wished you could never let go of them. Drawing strength from that you slowly raised your gaze slightly.

“What do you want, Xiao?”

At first Xiao said nothing. Perhaps he was staring at a line, contemplating whether to cross it. You had half the mind to apologize again, but managed to stop the words from coming out. You knew that it was just a force of habit. Besides, Xiao hadn’t said anything yet. A small spark of hope burned inside you, the hope that something might go well.

There was a gentle tug on your wrist and suddenly you were in Xiao’s arms, his hair gently tickling your nose.

“This,” he mumbled. “I want this.”

For a moment you felt yourself freeze in shock, but soon enough you found yourself melting into his embrace, wrapping your own arms around him. Xiao was warm like a heater, warm beyond that too. It was as if there was something in his soul. Gentle, flickering, it brought you happiness that you never thought you could imagine. You wanted to bask in it forever, it was worth any twists and turns you might have to take to reach it.

“Don’t disappear again.”

“I won’t.”

“I should have come earlier.”

“It’s alright. Hey, Xiao?”

“What?” Xiao’s arms tightened around you slightly. You didn’t want to talk much more either.

“What do you think of me?”

Xiao let out a soft snort. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

It was more than you could have ever hoped for.

[license-to-geek]

Changes

Norman Osborn X Reader

Reader is bitten by a spider instead of Peter

Part One

Smut warning

Also I wrote this in half an hour I can’t be too bothered checking for typos right now so apologies if it reads horrendously.

Anyway. Peace ✌️

The way their skin felt against one another’s was no where near comparable to any high on the planet. Sweat glistening and the sounds of pleasure filling the room. Silk bed sheets grazed her back as his hands gripped her waist.

“Fuck Norman “ she moaned.

He had slipped one of his long elegant fingers in between her folds, testing her waters.

Her hands went between his legs to reach for his member.

“Oh (Y/N), god the things you do to me)” he whispered, reaching down to engulf her in a kiss.

They had been seeing each other for a few months. She had been a friend of Harry’s since freshman year of college and had been invited round for dinner one evening. At first they didn’t pay any attention to one another. Completely not interested. Then there was the annual gala. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Innocent looks and thoughts turned into an obsession for him. Her intellect and drive was un matched to anyone he had ever met.

She saw him after a few drinks once he’d loosened up at the gala. She’d always thought him attractive, but that night was different, it was like a switch had been flipped and she was consumed by him.

They stumbled into one another in an empty hall way, she had fell, he had caught her, alcohol had been consumed, probably too much. And next thing they where kissing.

For the sake of Harry they tried to ignore their feelings for one another. But they just kept getting pulled back together. After dancing around each other and playing mind games they’d began an illicit affair.

“I love how you look when you cum” she smirked, laying down next to him, completely exhausted from their recent workout.

“What, like a man possessed ?” He laughed.

“Something like that. Oh shoot look at the time ! I’ve got to get going we have a field trip tomorrow”

And so she left, the pair of them feeling empty hearted at the thought of not being able to spend the night in each other embrace once again.

After that night the strangest thing had happened to her, she’d been bitten by a spider. Her senses dialled up to 11 and now she was a crime fighting super hero. Like James Bond. Sort of. But with webs shooting out of her wrists, instead of cool gadgets.

This newly developed capability caused a slight drift between her and Norman. She simply didn’t have enough time between fighting low life criminals college and her part time job.

She’d tried her hardest to see him as and when. However the last time they saw one another things seemed off.

She had gone round to meet Harry regarding a project for college, also hoping to see Norman too and share a kiss before she left.

As she walked into the house Harry was helping Norman up off the floor. He was drenched in sweat and looked a bit ill.

“Oh god, are you okay Norman” She asked rushing over to help him up alongside Harry.

His face looked perplexed like he was trying to remember something.

“No, no, I’m fine (Y/N).” He replied.

Her and Harry left the room after making sure he was okay. But when she came back the next day he seemed so bright and confident, so confident, like his ego had been dialled to 11.

“Norman? You look a lot better than yesterday”

“That’s because I’m a new man, sweetheart.”

“Right okay, whatever that means, you’re worrying me a bit are you sure you’re okay “

“Why wouldn’t I be okay. Now get over here before I tear your clothes off in the middle of the entrance hall for the neighbours to see.”

She felt her face flush, this was a completely different side to Norman.

“If I have to ask again you’re getting bent over my desk and spanked. I don’t like naughty girls.”

Blushing furiously but also confused she decided to play along.

“Perhaps I wish to be bent over your desk Mr Osborn” she whispered walking over to him and grabbing his tie.

“My, my, my, you are a naughty girl aren’t you.” He said in his gravely voice. Although something about his voice was different, huskier maybe?

“I’ve always been a trouble maker.”

“Get on your knees.” He instructed pushing her away from his chest with a bit of force.

Stunned, she hesitated for a second. They where in the entrance hall after all, Harry could walk in on them any moment now.

“I believe I said. On. Your.Knees” he sneered.

She complied.

He undid his belt and unzipped his trousers. Taking his member out of his trousers he began working it, he was already half hard.

“Open your mouth.”

She complied.

He was soon hard, and by god she never got used to looking at how big he was.

“Take me” he said.

She complied.

Her eyes met his own as she took him in her hand, fisting his cock a few times before bringing her tongue to his tip. She applied some pressure to his tip, then gently wrapped her lips on it kissing it softly, nibbling at it.

“I said take me girl.” He moaned.

Without warning he’d grabbed a handful of her hair and thrusted himself in deeper. Before she knew it she was deepthroating his cock. Her eyes began to water as he forced himself down her throat.

Her gagging noises were drowned out by the moans and groans escaping Normans throat.

She was about to ask him to stop before he came in her mouth, with a final thrust and grip of her hair his cum dribbled down through her throat and as he took himself out cum dribbled down her mouth too.

He took his thumb and wiped away the remaining cum from her mouth before pulling away and smirking.

That was a side to Norman she didn’t know if she enjoyed or not. After that incident she drew away from him again.

She continued to fight criminals on the street and attend college, she hadn’t seen Norman in a couple of weeks and she began to miss him.

Life was pretty normal apart from that. However she had began to draw attention to herself. Peter Parker began snapping some photographs of her so she’d been all over the papers, labelled - spider woman.

The attention hadn’t really bothered her until one day whilst she was in mid confrontation with a few criminals she had seen a man dressed in green on a glider smash through the daily bugle office.

She made her way there immediately.

“Who takes the photos of spider woman.” The green figure was holding the editor by the throat.

Shit-Peter ! She wasn’t that good friends with him, she only really knew him from Harry but still!

She swung her way through the broken window and punched the green elf in the face. She then went to rescue the editor but before she could she was, to put it simply- kidnapped.